silly question about feeding unanounced guests

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
silly question about feeding unanounced guests
55
Sun, 07-10-2011 - 11:35pm

Hi all..

My DH asked a friend to come over and help him with some firewood.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 12:11am
You're right. It's silly.

And don't make any guarantees about the rest of us. I enjoy feeding kids. And wouldn't bat an eye if their old man was in my yard doing the back breaking job of cutting firewood.

And you didn't actually have to "prepare" any food, correct?




 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 12:21am
The only obligation was my DH to his friend. Buy him a beer. Lend him tools, Help him as needed. DH did not state.. help me with fire wood, bring your kids and we will feed them. Friend brought them unannounced and mom had no problem looking at my food pantry to give her kids food. Is that OK ? In the simplest form of manners. Is that OK to bring an entrourage of people to someone's home who were not technically invited and then eat their food?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 12:23am

<<

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 12:23am
Honestly, I have a 3 year old, and a 20 year old (my niece, who moved in with DH and I years ago- she's away at school now). We live in a small, tight knit community. I often have neighbors and neighborhood kids who are coming and going- anything from stopping by to help DH or I with something to my niece's friends when he was in high school. If DH asked a friend to come over and help cut firewood, I honestly wouldn't care if his wife/girlfriend/kids cane along. I'd put out some snacks/pop/beer/whatever, and if I liked the wife/girlfriend, I'd hang out and chat, if I didn't, I'd go about my business. Same with the kids- I'd give them some snacks, and the remote/xbox controller/a ball/whatever...

If I had errands to run, I'd politely excuse myself. I don't think you owe unexpected visitors your whole day, but some snacks for the family of a guy who's giving up his day to help you guys out (your DH isn't the only one who will benefit from the firewood) doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me. Yeah, those kids sound like try don't have very good manners, and I wouldn't have let my kids do that, so if manners are your issue, yes, I agree, theirs stink, and their mother is to blame. However, if you're angry about the snacks, then I think it's your manners I'd call into question.

Last thing I'll say, having been a parent, you should get ready and prepare your stance now- kids aren't being raised the way they used to be. There's still a lot of good kids out there, but there are quite a few I've encountered over the last several years who I think may have been raised by wolves.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 12:25am
Okay- there are like five typos in my last post. Apologies, I'm on my iPhone, and don't have spellcheck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 12:27am
No, as you state it happened, it wasn't mannerly. And neither is your reaction, imo.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 12:50am
Providing drinks, food, disposing of their garbage, paper towels to clean spilled drinks and clean hands and lettiing them keep the candy is rude? All with a smile on my face, hugging the little one goodbye. All on the fly as I had no idea they were coming?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 1:29am
No, given the situation, you did the right thing. There's a difference between being polite an being used. Those kids were hungry, and you fed them- they obviously weren't raised to have good manners, but I don't blame them for that, I blame their mother.

The thing I think Cat and I are hung up on, is that this guy was doing you a favor, and you are angry because it wasn't on your exact terms. I guess my opinion is that if DH needed a favor from one of his buddies and all it cost me was a bag of chips and some drinks, to me it would feel like no big deal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 9:52am

IMHO, there are certain kids that think their life's job is to scope out what other people have in their homes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Tue, 07-12-2011 - 1:07pm

Hi JV,