Sister is always Jekyll / Hyde :(

Avatar for sweettartnacho
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Sister is always Jekyll / Hyde :(
8
Sat, 10-29-2011 - 5:42pm

My sister can be so wonderful.......but she can change in an instant.

We can be laughing & having fun & then she'll get into a mood & I'll say the wrong thing & she'll say some putdown.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Sat, 10-29-2011 - 6:58pm
Acceptance....you have to accept how she reacts to you so each of her put-downs don't sting so much. I think you have expectations each time that she isn't this person so each time she opens her mouth and spews the toxicity you are wounded...become thick skinned and remember this is her insecurities not yours!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Sat, 10-29-2011 - 9:12pm
I don't know why you want to change yourself to adapt to her hateful behavior. She's toxic and you know it, along with knowing she doesn't care.

Don't accept that treatment from anyone. There may the rare occasion that you are forced to be in her company, but otherwise, why do you still have contact with her?

 

Avatar for sweettartnacho
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Sat, 10-29-2011 - 9:20pm
I guess b/c family sticks together.

My sis n law is from a family where people go for years & don't talk to eachother, get in spats & throw tantrums. It's amazing to me b/c we don't operate like that. I think that sort of thing is very sad. Like running away. Or shutting the door on any problem. You can't just shut the door.

We have a wonderful family.....but her occasional behavior is a thorn in everyone's side on occasion. There are 7 in this original family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Sat, 10-29-2011 - 9:46pm
Sorry I don't have any advice on how to suck it up. I believe in boundaries, even if it's family.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Sat, 10-29-2011 - 9:49pm

Well, family does not always stick together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Sat, 10-29-2011 - 11:09pm

>>You can't just shut the door.

This isn't "just shutting the door"...it's self preservation.

I agree with cat...there's no sensible reason to maintain a relationship with somebody who is toxic.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Sun, 10-30-2011 - 1:25am

"I remember as a child that she would say something mean & I would go into my room & CRY!

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Mon, 10-31-2011 - 1:47pm

What works for some does not always work for everyone.