Sister in law PRINCESS.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2010
Sister in law PRINCESS.
16
Sun, 03-06-2011 - 7:44pm

My brothers wife is the type who has to keep up with the Joneses. The latest car, the best address, the gadgets etc.

When they got married, we gave them very nice engagement presents and weddings presents, and we invited them over quite a lot and they would happily come over and spend time here. We asked them once to come an bbsit our kids when we went to a concert, but I had made sure all the dinner was made and all they had to do was eat dinner with the kids. My kids at the time were 14, 13 and 11 so they were not babies, and could have stayed home alone, but I though they would want to come and be with the kids. Anyway, they ate and as soon as dinner was over, they left - so they were here for anout an hour and a

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008
Mon, 03-07-2011 - 8:49pm

LOL...

Ohearto...I read your other post too and can't help but see similarities between your ex-sis-in-law and the one I have posted about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011
Mon, 03-07-2011 - 9:56pm

Sorry your SIL is such a piece of work. The OP's SIL could be dealing with the stuff you're dealing with. But playing devil's advocate...

It depends on the timing of the brother or sister backing off. If a brother or sister suddenly gets all "new" on us and there is a new bf, gf or spouse, then we almost have to look at the bf, gf or spouse as the reason behind it.

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Mon, 03-07-2011 - 11:28pm
So sorry u have to deal with this crap. Families are important & it's such a waste of time to be petty like your SIL. Do yourself a favour & decide what type of a relationship you want with your Brother &/or his family, then follow through on your decision. Focus on minimizing the pain you feel by their selfish behaviour.

For over 35 yrs, I have tried to please my DH's family. I'm an only child & couldn't wait to have ILs. All these years I have planned events, brought gifts & catered every major family event. For 36 years, I have had Xmas dinner & a summer BBQ each year in addition to numerous birthdays, anniversaries & wakes. I have been to my BILs house once for dinner - it was 7 yrs after we were married & the entire family was there. I have recently learned that DH's siblings have been having regular celebrations together without ever inviting us. But they complained when I didn't pull together a Xmas dinner last year due to illness then they all went to BILs without including us. We have 2 events this year - my great nephew's 21st birthday this coming weekend & my DD's wedding in the summer. Once those are over, I have decided not see DH's family again unless they show up to DS's wedding in 2014. I have taken a lot in spite of DH telling me I was crazy & to write his family off. I'm a slow learner as I believe everyone is good but finally I will not continue to give to these selfish, self centred people. I'm tired of being hurt. I have told my kids that they need to have their own relationship with their aunts, uncles & cousins as they are all grown up but not to expect me to have them in my home again. They understand but feel badly as this isn't how they wanted their family to be.

I hope things turn out better for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008
Mon, 03-07-2011 - 11:37pm

I am continually shocked - shocked I tell you - at how some people define "family".

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2010
Mon, 03-07-2011 - 11:41pm

You have all given me some great ideas and some assurance that I am NOT THE ONLY ONE dealing with this BS. Fortunately, I have a big enough family and I have loads of people to invite to events and can keep them out of the picture for a while.

I agree with the person who said that it takes two to build a bridge and that if they want to be part of our lives then they need to make the effort as well.

Its just very hard as we both pretend that things are normal.. he even had the cheek to turn around and say that when the grandfather died and we hadnt sent condolences properly, she didnt feel part of the family. This is after they have been married for 2 years and have NEVER INVITED us over.. that we didnt make THEM feel part of the family, after all the things I had done to make her feel welcome. It was coming directly from her , she was looking for ways to make trouble, because i know my brother, he wouldnt never have thought of something to say to me like that if you had to pay him to think it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 9:10am

Forgot to add, after the divorce, everyone moved in different directions.

Pages