Sister puts a lot of pressure on me

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Sister puts a lot of pressure on me
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 1:13pm
My sister & I live together & are 3 years apart in age. I am 30 & she is 27. I have a demanding & at times stressful design career and I am finishing my bacelors degree by taking 2 classes 2 nights a week. I enjoy excersising, and spending time with my boyfriend. I have many friends and I am very happy with my life.

My sister goes to a job everyday where she has no responsiblities except to answer the phone. All she likes to do is watch reality tv, and drink a lot. She has maybe one friend. I do not enjoy the things she wants to do such as drinking 4 nights a week. I feel we have very little in common. She is not happy going to the mall, lunch or dinner with me. I feel she would be happy if I were going out & drinking with her. I have tried to go out with her before, but she wants to keep drinking & drinking and her idea of fun is not the same as mine.

Every so often she verbally attacks me and accuses me of not liking her & not wanting to do things with her. She yells at me for not inviting her to do things with me & my friends. I feel pressured by her and she acts as though I am responsible to make her happy. I have tried to tell her to get some hobbies and that she is putting a lot of pressure on me, but this always comes up with her.

The only reason why I have continued to live with her is b/c I have been in school for the past 3 1/2 years and I wasn't able to afford my own place. I plan on getting my own apartment when our lease is up in March, but in the meantime I feel like I cannot take it anymore.

Why doesn't she see that she needs to find her own outlet in life & stop putting all this pressure on me?
Avatar for cl_starrzz_n_moonzz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 11:29am
I have never really been in your shoes with a situation like this, but could it be she is just really jealous of you and all you have that she feels left out? Maybe you could make a night of it with her and a few of your friends to get her out of the house and meeting new people. I know I have met many new people through friends. I also have found out even though a friend my introduce me to someone it doesn't always click but it opens new doors to meet others. She just sounds like she really wants to be a part of things but doesn't know how to make it work. Talk to her and get a few friends together and go out and have a good time. You said she really likes to drink? Well I would make the outing to a place that doesn't serve drinks at all. Maybe if you take her somewhere where there isn't anything she could be hersself and have a good chance of meeting new people. I think it's great that you two are living together, but like you said there can be problems and they won't be completely solved until something changes. I think it would be a good step to make the move in March. I know that when me and my sister was in the same house we couldn't get along no matter what, but now that there are miles between us we have the best relationship we have ever had. I hope this has helped. Please let us know how things go. Until then have a great week~~~~~~Michelle