Sister's Actions - Let's call a Spade a Spade!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2011
Sister's Actions - Let's call a Spade a Spade!!!!!!!!!!!!
24
Wed, 08-03-2011 - 12:21pm

My sister, brother and I live in separate parts of the country.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Oh, you have a self-centered slut for a sister, too. Sorry.

What are you wondering about specifically when you ask whether you were wrong? Was it "hitting the roof"? Did you scream at her? Did you call her names?

You know she's lying, and what her motives are.

I feel bad for your mom. And for you, of course, being in the middle so to speak.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
And oh yeah, I find it creepy as hell that he sent you a FB friend request. I'd send an LOL message to him. And then ignore him. And your sister. Don't have any expectations of her during her visit. You'll only be disappointed.

They're both creepy.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2011

The term "hitting the roof" refers to blowing up at someone in anger.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004

You and your sister have been adults for a very long time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
The OP's sister was supposed to come visit to help cut the OP some slack in the care of their mother.

It doesn't look like happy memories will come out of this.

 

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
No, you aren't wrong in the least. Forget morality for a second, it's emotionally unhealthy. Unless, she is familiar with open relationships and practices such regularly. If she hasn't, trust me, issues will creep in and someone will end up hurt. Unfortunately, as her sister, it isn't your place to judge her and if you do so it could ruin your relationship. I wouldn't offer any advice unless she asks for it, personally. (& I have a sister, I know it's difficult not to)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2011

I hear what you are saying.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2011

You are the first, you hit it right on the head!

She should be coming out here to visit and help take care of her mother.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998

I know that its hard not to judge your sister, you expect her to have the same moral compass as you do, but she is an adult and entitled to her own opinions and behavior. And another poster made a good point that she probably is lonely and feeling old so when this "Lothario" showed interest in her she was flattered and excited. I agree that it would be more convenient if she kept her flings in her own state so you don't get any fallout from them.

Would you be able to talk to her and tell her that you need her to commit to spend X number of hours with Mom, and arrange it in advance? So you know that you will get a break, or that your mom will get a minimum amount of time with her youngest dd. Also if you don't want Romeo coming to your house make that clear beforehand.

The situation reminds me of something that happened in our family. My brother was terminally ill and I convinced my other brother that if he wanted to see him while he was lucid that he should visit soon. So oldest brother makes his arrangements, and it just so happened that he chose the weekend that had a sporting event that he wanted to attend and some of his old friends would be in the area. He basically planned out a weekend of activities that had him spending only about 3 hours with our sick brother and using his house as a hotel. I was pretty upset, even though I wasn't going to be there, because it seemed disrespectful to sick brother and his wife. As it turned out, 3 hours was about enough of oldest brother for sick brother to handle so I guess it was okay...but I still think oldest brother's behavior was kind of tacky. (and then a few months later when he stayed with me to attend the memorial service he was trying to meet up with some women he used to know who live in my city, never mind that he had a SO at home. Jeez, and I'm related to this person?)

Not trying to hijack your post...but maybe your mom won't be able to take more than a few hours at a time of your sister and it will be just as well that Sis has other things to do? Were you wanting to spend time with her ?(I ask because you sound pretty disgusted with her right now). And its possible that your sister and Mr Open won't hit it off as expected IRL and she might be around your house more than expected.

As for the Facebook invite, don't take it personally. There's a good chance that he doesn't actually want to be "friends" with you, he just wants another woman in his friends list while he shoots for having 3000 so-called friends. Just click Ignore. But to be safe make sure that your settings are for Friends Only so your sister's sketchy friends can't see all of your stuff on FB.

I guess we know who you won't be voting for in the next election!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2011

Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your brother.

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