So angry with my brother >:(
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|Thu, 06-06-2013 - 2:52am|
It's been a while since I've posted on this board (or it might be the first time) but I'm looking for some direction.
I live with my parents because my dad is sick. My brother lives an hour away and my sister in a different state (she doesn't have much to do with us). My family is close and my brother and I are close. See, the thing is that my brother has my father's temper (my dad's failing health has ended his temper). My brother will get mad at the drop of a hat, over the littlest thing(s). And once "the mood" begins, it is taken out on all of us. For as long as I can remember, we would all walk on eggshells and stay out of his way because he's mad....again.
We took a family trip to the city we used to live in and took two cars because there were so many of us. I was in my car and my brother drove my parents in their car. It wasn't until we got home that my parents expressed that his "moods" made their trip miserable and they don't want to make that trip with him again. Which I feel bad about because they worried that this was going to happen before we even left. I wasn't aware of it because I was in my car and I have no problem with blowing him off when he gets like that. The thing is, this was probably the last time my dad was going to be able to go back to the old city before he passes. What was supposed to be a nice trip, turned into a five day excursion of tip-toeing around my brother. That's not fair, it's not fair to my parents and everyone else that was in the car with him. This was everyone's vacation and they spent it on eggshells. See, the other thing is that, when he was being pissy in the car with them, he would come talk to me and I had no idea anything was wrong. He wasn't taking the mood out on me (I have told him a few times I won't be his whipping post) but he took it out on them. So really, I have no reason to be mad because I didn't have to deal with his mood, I'm just mad that he has no problem taking it out on our parents.
I love my brother, very much. He is one of my best friends, but he is making others around him miserable. My mom wanted to take him out for dinner for his birthday and he cancelled last minute. He didn't want to celebrate it, and it turned into a small fight with him and my mom because he cancelled last minute. BUT it was ok for him to go to his friend's house to have dinner and cake for his birthday. He didn't lash out at his friends for it. This is when my attitude began.
I really think all this crap needs to be brought to his attention and needs to be told that enough is enough. Of course, this will start another fight and will be bigger and more dramatic than the last one. There is a bigger part of me that feels I need to keep my mouth shut because he isn't taking anything out on me and because it will be hells bells for even bringing it up in the first place. On the other hand, my parents are hurt because he has no regard for their feelings. One other time I did have this conversation with him, he claimed that he feels how he feels and no one cares. I think that because he have to tip-toe around him, we do it BECAUSE we care. It's an endless cycle that I feel stuck in the middle of. I don't know how to approach the situation and the way I feel right now, I just don't want to talk to him. And he has no idea that I feel that way or why. And that's not fair either.
Tried to keep it short, and I just needed to vent. I'm mad and I feel bad for it (WTF?). Should I speak up? Or shut up?