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|Thu, 08-28-2003 - 12:04am|
Sometimes I feel I'm at my wits end. My fiance has a 5 year old daughter that I love dearly. Sometimes I get upset when the baby's mother acts irresponsible and I express that to my fiance. For example, when it's below zero it's important the child dresses warm and have a hat, scarf and gloves to wear when she outside. He sends her over with these items and she keeps losing them. He tells her he's tired of buying these things everytime she loses it that she needs to supply the baby with these items when she comes over. She complains and refuses to buy it. When the baby gets sick she would tell my fiance to go bring her to the doctor when she was sick for awhile. One time the baby had pneumonia. Maybe she didn't know she had that but you could see the baby had a fever and wasn't responsive. Seeing her like that wouldn't you bring her to the doctor if she was under your care. He told the mother to bring her to the doctor. She didn't like his comment they argued about that. He had to leave work early and bring her the hospital. There are so many things that she does that I can't believe a mother would do. I thought parents are suppose to make sacrifices for their child so they can have a better life. The baby is not mine but I feel this strong love for her. I have hopes and dreams that she would be a loving, respectable, ambitious, independent woman. I want her to be well-educated and go to college. On and off my fiance and I argue about how the baby is being brought up. I do a lot of things for her and it upsets me when he tells me it's none of my business. I feed her, bathe her, put her to bed, read her stories, teach her ABCs and other things, bring her to school, bought her clothes, etc. that have rights to say how I feel. He always shoots me down that he doesn't want to hear it. Of course, I feel defensive and hurt that I can't have a say but it's okay that I do all these things. If I accidentally sent her w/ a small shirt he yells at me that I'm embarrassing him by making him look bad towards her mother. When she's sent her over a few times with a small shirt he doesn't yell at her about it. He tells me not to send it back. It seems he gives me aggrevation but nothing to her. I feel he's afraid of her yelling and she gets away with it. He's always worried she'd do something spiteful to him. Instead of him lashing on her he bites my head off whenever I throw comments about her. I love him and his daughter very much but our arguments have gotten intense and ugly. Sometimes I question if we should get married. I can't stand the excess baggage (the baby's mother) and ugly arguments regarding her. We get along fine but when it comes to her him and I are at war w/ each other. I don't know how to cope. Any advice?