Telling parents about BF

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Telling parents about BF
3
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 8:39pm
I'm telling my parents about my boyfriend I have. I think they are going to go off the deep end because he is 5 years older than me. I've meet his family and they are okay with it, but I have the family that would kill me if they knew what age he is. I know what you all are wondering, why the heck are you going to tell them? I need to tell them. Even though I am scared of telling them, I don't like going behind their backs and saying I'm not dating and issues like that. Hopefully someone could understand and give me an insight on how to tell them. Please, help me.
Avatar for sara24
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 9:37pm
So how old are you?? 5 years seems like a big deal when you're young but as you get older it's really not a big deal at all (said the woman married to a guy 8 years older than she is). My standard joke is that it all has to do with how boys mature so much slower than girls...we have to date/marry someone *ancient* in order to find someone on our level ;)

Sara

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Wed, 06-18-2003 - 12:49am
I am 18 and last year like 2 months before my 18th b-day I started going out with a guy who was 20 and turned 21 while I was with him, so my parents were not very happy about that, especially knowing that he was of an age to buy beer and all that (which strikes me as very funny because I never even drank with him). Anyway...I don't know how old you are but in my opinion if you are over 18 I don't think your parents should be all that upset, I mean, the biggest difference it could be is age 18 and 23, and honestly how bad is that? Like the last person said too, as you get older and older the difference makes less of a "big deal" you know? I think it's very cool that you are not just trying to hide this relationship to make it easier on you with your parents. Hopefully they will respect that! I wish you a lot of luck on this, I am not sure about advice though because I haven't really been thru a lot of probs with that, I have been dating since forever (12) and my parents generally just wanna be sure to meet the guy and sort of check him out, but even with the 20/21 guy they weren't too upset or anything. Maybe if your parents meet him and see that he is nice, they will have less problem with it! I hope so! I would like to hear more about what happens, and I am curious how old you and the guy are too. Rhiannon
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2003
Wed, 06-18-2003 - 11:05am
I think you should tell them. It is best to be honest and open. They are going to find out about this at some point anyway, and it will be better to tell them now because they will be angrier if they find out later.

Are you under 18? If you are, your parents will have a say in whether they want you to date this man or not. If you are a teen, I urge you to think carefully about this relationship. Older men who date teenagers usually do so because they want someone they think they can control. They also like the fact that a younger woman will look up to them. It is definitely not an equal partnership. Is this the kind of relationship you really want? Perhaps you are afraid of your parents' reaction because you know what they will say and why they will say it.

Tracy