"Thank You" cards to ex and HIS family a good idea?
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|Fri, 12-27-2013 - 11:03am|
This is the most appropriate board I could find. Sorry if I'm not quite on the right one.
I will try to keep this as brief as possible:
I became a teen mom at the age of 15 and my boyfriend at the time was on and off with me. He was a cheater, but for some strange reason I stayed by him thinking he would change. I was never with anyone other than him. At age 16 we had our 2nd child. At age 18, he and I got married (he also joined the Military during this time). At age 21, we got divorced. During the marriage, he still cheated on me and things were much worse. Again, I stayed by him thinking he would change. What in the world was I thinking?! I don't know. Our entire relationship was nothing but a "friends with benefits" thing. I didn't see it as that at the time; this took me several years to figure out. I know now why I was trying to hang onto this relationship; because I didn't think that anyone else would want to be with a single mother of two. I felt that our kids needed their father and I together. Boy was I ever wrong!
In 2010, I surprised myself; I met my now fiance and he and I have two of our own children together. Coincidentally, my XH also met someone in 2010 around the same time I met my fiance. XH got engaged a short time after meeting his now wife, which they got married in 2011. XH has occassional visits with our kids when he's in town on leave, so it was our kids who revealed that their dad was seeing someone else.
Fast forward: In the past 4 years I've learned from my kids that their dad and wife have spread awful stories about me to their families, making me out to be their worst enemy. XH has hated my guts and I mean HATED me since I met my fiance (strange?) since we found out about each other's new relationships. He even tried to gain custody of our children (never before) and that didn't work. I've never been the bad guy here and never did anything wrong. Before I forget, XH also adopted his wife's 2 kids a short time after being married.
Since we've moved onto our new relationships, our children receive many gifts at Christmas and their birthday's from their dad, his family and his wife's family. This past year especially, they've been very generous. After giving a lot of thought I've been debating on whether or not I should send out "thank you" cards to everyone? (To include the kids' dad and wife?) I've never done this before and I'm hesitant. I was going to let the kids sign, not myself. What does everyone think of this?
That's why I gave you the back story. Maybe this will help aid in the situation? (BTW, my XH's wife has only ONCE spoken to me, ever). When they're in town for a visit, she is looking away from me or has her head down. My fiance notices that she will look at me intensely when I'm not looking at her. My XH, as much as he hates me will actually speak to me and my fiance will speak to him and we're all being nice (well, we're being nice, XH's just pretending) but XH's wife, IMO, is being an idiot. She spoke once to me, trying hard not to stare and had her head down for the most part, saying something about the kids' gifts (I really had a hard time hearing her). I can't wrap my head around this for some reason. My kids, when they visit with them, say they don't like her and that she's mean and has a big mouth. She and XH fight about something -every time- they visit. What does everyone think about this?
I think I've covered everything (I hope!) Please reply. Thank you for taking the time to read this!