They wont stop!

Avatar for genuinelyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
They wont stop!
1
Wed, 10-08-2003 - 8:33am
I have posted here about this once before. Yesterday I had to hang the phone up on my granny (I know that sounds bad!) but my family is always onto me about something & it's just gotten so old & I am so tired of it! I come from a big close knit family, but I have not been seeing them as much & I have distanced myself. Yes I still live close to them in my hometown! I have 2 kids & have been married for going on 7yrs now. I am almost 23 & I am so tired of getting preached at & lectured, they treat me like a child or like I am stupid or whatever, this pisses me off, but it hurts me more! I have told them time & time again that they need to back off & that I am happy & that I am going to raise my kids w/my husband & that we are going to do what feels right for us, not them, but for us! It's like just b/c I don't do things their way then I'm doing them wrong! They want me to raise my kids the way they see fit & that upsets me! I even wrote them a long letter some months back & mailed it to them & now after being cool for a cpl months they are back to putting me down & treating me like a child! I am just so tired! I dont want to go w/o seeing them & I dont want to keep them from the kids, but I cant take this anymore! It's like nothing I say or do gets thru & I am just done! I dont have to take the preaching & lectures, I am a married woman & mother of 2 I dont need that crap! I just want them to back off, but they wont! Their always telling me what a bad father my husband is, which he's not! Then they tell me that we treat our oldest wrong & that shes unhappy, which she isnt! They put stuff in her head when she visits them or stay w/them, which has been cut back to almost nothing now! They encourage behavior in her that she knows is not acceptable at home! I just dont know what to do anymore, I am at my wits end w/this! Advice???????? Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 10-10-2003 - 7:10pm
I think that you know what you need to do, you just need someone(s) to tell you that it is okay to do it. You have come to the right place. Your first priority is the well-being of the family that you have created with your DH, and anyone, including your granny, who messes with your family should answer to to you and DH. You need to get serious with these people and make sure that you give them consistent consequences for stepping over the boundaries you have set. If they think that you are not serious, they will continue to ignore you. It is obvoius that they could give a rat's you know what about how you feel, so you need to ratchet things up a bit. Whenever they start in on you, hang up, or leave. Tell them that you refuse to discuss your parenting, and/or refuse to allow them to belittle your DH, so the visit is over for now, and that you hope that they will be able to be more considerate during your next visit. You may have to take an extended "break" from them at some point. I know it is difficult to even consider this now, but they will continue unless you give them a reason to change.