Tired of My Sister Being Stupid and Whining To Me

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Tired of My Sister Being Stupid and Whining To Me
25
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 1:39am

My siser has been married to her husband for over 20 years and during all that time I have listened to all her stories about how badly he was treating her. She left him about 15 years ago then got back with him and now she has left him again and brought a new home. My other

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011

You are right I have enabled her all these years because I thought family should support family and to tell you the truth, time flew by. I just started realizing recently that it has been over 20 years. I thought I was being a good sister by listening to her and allowing her to vent and hoped one day she would leave him. Then the day came that she did leave him and nothing has changed. So now I feel its time to step away because I can no longer support

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2008
It wasn't an easy decision....I loved her like a sister!!! And to have to walk away from someone I knew needed help but was unable & unwilling to help herself, just tore me up!!! I felt guilty, like I'd failed her.....but in time, she left his sorry a$$ & I believe she needed to learn to stand on her own again!! I'm very proud of her today....she's an awesome woman with a lot to offer. He was scum...he talked smack about my dd at her CHRISTENING?! (like I said he was a tool)
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Have you told your sister that the stories of verbal abuse at the hands of her ex upsets you? If you haven't, then I would. Then I would tell her that you think it's an unhealthy relationship and you think that it would be best if she moves on. From that point forward, if she approaches you regarding the aforementioned, you can say: "Sister, I love you, but I can't listen to these stories any longer. I've told you how I feel about him. You know what my advice will be, and these stories are very unsettling for me to hear."
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
I was told that by the time I was 21. ;)

I guess it's just coincidence... but your post reminded me of my very first post here on ivillage, around 8 years ago...?

It was about a hit man and my sister.

Hopefully ivillage is saving my stories for me! Maybe I will gather them up and put it all together one day, and scare the hell out of other people, lol.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004

Cat...have you ever thought of writing and publishing your autobiography?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
When it comes to violent men, the woman's best friend is killed along with her, more times than we want to think about.

The worst in an area where I lived (not here).. the guy drove up behind his woman and her best friend, and their two kids in a car. He pushed them onto the tracks of an oncoming train, killing them all. Even his own child.

You were absolutely right to cut your friend off when you and your family might be in danger.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
I forgot to add something about the woman whose husband and his mistress tried to kill her 3 times. In one of the first attempts, there was a knock on her door. When she opened it with her teenage son walking up right behind her, the guy opened fire. Missed both of them that time.

So not only was this rich lawyer willing to kill his wife to keep from divorcing and losing money, he showed no regard with whether or not his own kids were killed in the process. The wife has no sense, but I hope the kids are out of there now.

I'd like to shake that woman, then throw her down some stairs.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2008
It's a heartwrenching and difficult position to be in. I remember the struggles my friend went through. It was hard to listen and be available."


I get what you're saying. My bf was in a very abusive relationship too. I tried to help her get out....BUT...she kept going back. He was a sick bastard...and he started to scare me. He knew where I lived & that we had babies. I finally had to cut off contact with her for my own good, as well as hers. She had to learn to stand on her own & walk away. OP's sister is like my friend. She must learn to stand on her own 2 feet. Without her ex-husband...and without her sister....or she'll be in that emotionally crippled state FOREVER!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011

The weird part about is...it's her beach house she brought it on her own, but he has taken over it like he brought it and she stupidly added his name to the deed. The cruises were paid for by her and she has way more money than him. She owns

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
<< In extreme cases they can even develop Stockholm Syndrome.>>

Reminds me of the woman in the newspaper yesterday. Her husband and his mistress tried to kill her 3 times. Missed her twice, but finally gut shot her the third.

She's standing by her man in court this week. LOL.

Seriously, when I read her obituary when he finally finishes her off, I'm going to laugh. No sympathy here.

 

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