Treacherous Friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2013
Treacherous Friend
12
Mon, 11-25-2013 - 12:01pm

So I have, still have a group of artist friends online. Mostly twitter. Before anyone laughs I know many have become bffs (setting themselves up for instant rappot when if they meet in real life) or (including myself) got lasting opportunities which is a 'real life event'. Like with any online drama I consider this an extended reality vs non-real.

The situation: Essentially I have a male friend with whom I had trusted enough to share my online (but locked) personal diary. He's very charismatic but occasionally he shared my personal entries without my permission. I suspected this but it seemed mostly with his inner group so it was okay--we are all mutual friends now...except him, who defriended me because... After 2.5 years this fairly famous popular artist, whom I met in person.... Lemme reword this. Can you imagine going to an niche industry networking conference, getting an famous artists autograph, she follows me by lurking on me & my friends twitter feed, she 'poaches' my friend with whom I trusted affectionately  (told him only sexual jokes and character assassinated everything I posted), I complained & he defriended me on several social networks, it changed him enough so my friend joined her and they both began to character assassinate me. Finally through a third party intervention he(my friend) sorta snaps outta it. She still continues. Both are married and their spouses are annoyed but let the rapport continue. I was singled out (scapegoated) and even though he kinda apologized (the third party was influential promoter my friend respects--so i dont know if it's true remorse). Obviously I took him off my diary. He never refriended me back on twitter.

It's pointed out in these groups that everyone online is bouyantly 'transparent' (ie exposing their feelings online) and that quieter people like me are evil and secrative. I call bullshit. Seems they are simply more extroverted (and cruel) vs introverted.  They both have some friends with locked twitter accounts after all. To boot,  he emailed her some of my private locked diary and emails (regarding her); I didnt get her emails. 3 months later this is still raw for me though I keep quiet. Our online friends are so intertwined now. Some are good people in the arts field. Dont know what to do with him...plead to be refirended, drop him off twtter but essentially lurk b/c he relates to so many of our other mutual friends now. Still feeling traumatized and dont know.

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Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Sun, 12-08-2013 - 11:10am

If you have already done everything that you can or that you want to, then what are you asking for here?

If you just want to vent and don't want advice, you can state that at the beginning and the other members will know to refrain from making suggestions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2013
Mon, 12-09-2013 - 2:05pm
I have done absolutely nothing wrong on this board, except stating one certain path advocated is not in my best interests. Thanks for everyone's suggestions.

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