UGH so much stuff going on this Christmas.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2010
UGH so much stuff going on this Christmas.
17
Sat, 12-18-2010 - 12:37am

I am currently single and after being in a serious relationship with someone in college I have just been dating recently yet I have been feeling lonely. Luckily, at least I thought I was going to spend Christmas with my dad and like always I hoped my step mom would be different. Come to find out she wasn't she was her normal rude self.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
I'm sure you'll get some responses of "it's none of your business", or, "she's free to date whoever she wants", blah, blah....

But I don't blame you one bit for being weirded out. And to boot, she hid it from you.

I think if there's to be a talk, she should come to you instead of you approaching her. I think she owes you that much.

Sorry, girl.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005

I don't have any sisters but I do have one or two "choosen" sisters and I would be very upset if they ever dated an ex without d.iscussing it with me first.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2010

She is 21 and out of all my sisters I am closest to Alex. Alex always says how I should have been her twin because Taylor and her don't really hang out or talk and she feels always more comfortable talking to me. I guess thats why I was stunned because Alex and I naturally share everything. Her and I talk on the phone every week or through skype naturally and she never mentioned that she was dating him. Its definitely weird to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2003
I agree with Tobylady...especially since the two of you have such a close relationship so you can rule out any deviousness on Alex's part. I get why this is weirding you out, and I can see how this might be weird for your sister and your ex. If she doesn't bring it up with you, then I think you should. But that should wait until you are over the shock of news and get your own feelings sorted out.

This might sound weird, but if Alex and your are so much alike, then maybe that explains her liking the same guy as you. Like Cat says, some people don't see anything wrong with dating a friend or sister's ex, but it just seems wrong to me. Sometimes in special circumstances it can work, but for most people it causes problems. It's best not to go there.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004

Alex definitely broke the "girl code" and it seems to me that she should have talked to you first. Especially about him coming over for Christmas. I know she thought you'd be at your Dad's, but is is old enough to think about a possible change of plans knowing how your step mum is. Even if you ended up spending the entire holidays with your Dad, she still should have told you.

I too, think you should have a chat with her about how you feel about this whole thing. I would also suggest you wait until you've cooled off a little, so you don't explode on her. That will only make the situation worse.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Did your mom know you were coming before you got there?

She knew your sister was dating your long-time ex, right? Have you discussed it with her at all?

How are you doing now? I hope things have settled down....


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
I'm not sure....

But I think if she approaches her sister to discuss it, if things go badly (which imo is a good possibility with someone who didn't tell her the truth to begin with, let her be totally surprised and shell shocked....., the op will be made out to look like she's just jealous and a trouble maker.)

JMHO.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2010

My mom talked to me the day before I arrived. She told me I could come home for Christmas if I didn't want to stay with my step mom. So my mom didn't exactly know I was coming home before I got there. She didn't know that Alex was bringing him home. All she knew is that Alex told her she was bringing someone home. I hung out with them a little which was weird.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
I'm glad things have worked out for you.

I don't think you did anything wrong in jumping to conclusions since you saw them holding hands. I don't hold hands with my guy friends.... but maybe that's just me. I'm not a touchy-feely person.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004

I'm glad things worked out better too. It's no surprise you thought they were a couple because they were holding hands. She shouldn't be too offended, because all signs gave them the appearance of dating.

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