Update

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Update
12
Fri, 12-30-2011 - 12:15am
I posted after Christmas about my dysfunctional family. I have deleted both my brother and sister from my Facebook account. My sister send me a message on Facebook asking and I quote, "What's your problem?". I decided to call her and she actually was in tears because I deleted her. I explained to her that I wanted more privacy and she said that was BS. I stood by my story and it only made her more angry. She is such an ugly angry human being and kept telling me I was the one with the problem.

I'm going to lose her as my helper and I'm going to have to find an alternative. I still can't be open and honest with her because I would never see her children. She would love me to disengage from her kids so I have to be extra careful.

San

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
In reply to: swimercise
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 11:50am
More inhormation why I deleted her...when things are good I confide in my sister (I know my mistake) and when things are bad she throws those things in my face as she does the things I post on Facebook. I can't tell you how many times she's corrected my spelling in her FB comments or told me how wrong I was. I never felt free to truly post honestly on FB. This was a long time coming. I finally had the nerve to do it.

San
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2011
In reply to: swimercise
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 11:47am

I understand the urge to delete these nutty people. BUT! By deleting her, you stepped up the drama.

For example: both of the people that are giving me the silent treatment (see the thread below) are FB friends with me. The crazy mom hasn't talked to me in person for 2 months now. I was tempted also to delete her. But I took a step back and thought about it. If I delete her, I'm in it with her. It shows her that her passive aggressive behavior is effecting me. It's like handing her a victory. It also gives her another reason to feel victimized by me. Passive aggressive people look to feel victimized.

By deleting her, you lashed out emotionally. And now she can tell/show everyone that *you* are the big bully and not her (not true of course, but that's how they think)

My DH said, the trick is act like you don't care. Rise above it and go on about your day as you normally would. Say Hi in person, wish them a happy birthday on FB. Don't bend over backwards for them. But don't give them the negative response they need to prove to themselves you are the problem not them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
In reply to: swimercise
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 1:08am
Never mind.

Hope you are able to get it worked out.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
In reply to: swimercise
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 12:58am
I'm confused....isn't that what I'm fighting with my family? Isn't it obvious there is unnecessary drama? Trust me none of this is about FB.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
In reply to: swimercise
Fri, 12-30-2011 - 11:55pm
My bad.

Still, seems FB is more important to both of you than you acknowledge.

Too much unnecessary drama, imo.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
In reply to: swimercise
Fri, 12-30-2011 - 11:05pm
I didn't slam anyone on FB...I deleted her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
In reply to: swimercise
Fri, 12-30-2011 - 11:17am
<< She even agreed that Facebook wasn't important. >>

It's important to both of you. That's why you did what you did, and why she was in tears when you called her.

I'd be careful calling her unstable in this situation. Probably others you're right about, but you claim FB isn't important and you purposefully slammed someone on it, which led to tears and phone calls, and more drama.

I can't reconcile your opinions about fb and your actions.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
In reply to: swimercise
Fri, 12-30-2011 - 10:12am

Okay, now I understand that you’ve already had the surgery. You say you don't

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
In reply to: swimercise
Fri, 12-30-2011 - 8:46am
And it's truly sad that I have to succumb to their dysfunction so I can get help when I need it. I don't know who else I can ask for help.

San
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
In reply to: swimercise
Fri, 12-30-2011 - 8:45am
I want to clarify that I've already had surgery (depending on my back there may be more in the future) sorry for that confusion.

She's so unstable so I don't really know why she's reacting this way. She even agreed that Facebook wasn't important. She said I'm the only one not getting along with Mom, brother and her so it must be me...this isn't even close to the truth. I'm just fighting back. I don't want to live like this...my health can't handle it.

San

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