Venting About DH - When Things Get Tough He Gives Me a Hard Time

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2005
Venting About DH - When Things Get Tough He Gives Me a Hard Time
6
Thu, 03-17-2011 - 8:57am

ok, I really am just venting, but I wish I could understand this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004

Are you helping out with the horses right now? Maybe he feels everything is put on him? I remember your last post and I thought you were trying to unload the business. If I'm not remembering correctly, let me know. I have been in your shoes. My ex worked a seasonal job. He was off from October until March. He just didn't understand when I was bogged down with work and couldn't get away during the holidays. There was no shared work (we each had our own places). I suppose you talked to him countless times about this issue, but blurting "if you don't like me, you need to file for divorce" is not helping. You can think it, but saying it is not conduscive to solving the problem. Yes, we all get cranky when we're tired. That's understandable, but try to count to ten when he's badgering you. Then take a deep breath and say, "I'm doing the best I can". Keep repeating this as often as necessary.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002

Hugs,

Early in our marriage, when my DH was stressed, he would tend to take it out on me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2005
ok, thank you, I have told myself that, but maybe it will help hearing it from someone else too. I am up every weekday morning at 5 am - we both are - and we clean the about 5 stalls tha otherwise would be more messy than the others for him to deal with at night. We can sleep in till around 8 on the weekends, and this is an odd-year Session so I don't have to work weekends (yet). He just plain old sometimes doesn't handle crisis very well at all, but I guess we aren't all perfect I don't handle being tired very well either. We really ought just thank our stars right now if we just have jobs and homes - those poor people in Japan probably think the world has ended, and for them it has...

By the way- I graduated from Morehead and he graduated from U of L - won't be a good night at home tonite either....I just hope I don't get like I did in my last marriage after 23 years I didn't want to go home at night. He delighted in causing an argument every night - there's only so much of that anybody can take. Unfortuately his lifestyle went way down after I todl him to leave/he left, and he's not doing all that well. Too bad. Anybody that cheats royally for 3 years straight deserves that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004

After reading your post, I'm hoping he's not thinking you're not pulling your weight. Let me clarify. You go to work and he works on the farm? It sounds fair to me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008

It sounds to me like you are both working hard, only his work is always there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
If I recall correctly, there's alot more to this story, and Chic has bent over backwards in regards to her DH's wishes. But it seems like it's never enough.

Chic, never apologize for the length of a post. Otherwise, we would be missing some important info. I don't have any advice for you, but I'm here to listen and support.