Venting about friends

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2003
Venting about friends
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 9:33am
There should be a board for that. I am so angry about a friend right now I need to vent. I have a little 4 month old puppy that is the sweetest most adorable thing. My friend has two adult dogs, one of which has the hots for my puppy and spends all night chasing her around whenever we hang out. We were hanging out last night and my friend took the liberty to pinch my puppy's neck hard enough to make her cry because she was begging for food which does bother me since my puppy knows the word off and doesn't need to be hurt to know she shouldn't beg. Later in the night, I picked my puppy up to go home and her dog jumped on me and started pawing at my stomach and hurting me. My gut reaction was to give the dog a quick smack on the nose and yell "no" and my friend started yelling at me about hitting her dog. I am really, really frusterated because she is now making it sound like I was beating the dog up when I just gave him one quick smack, and it wasn't even hard. And it's especially aggrevating when she does stuff that hurts my puppy and calls is discipline. I tried to be the bigger person and apologize this morning for smacking her dog and her response was a lecture on hitting her dogs. So now I'm just. Part of me wants to point the finger back about her pinching my puppy but then I know it will turn into a whole thing. Anyone feel like sympathizing with me?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 12:02pm
I have been in similar situations before. I understand that you wanted to apologize so that she would apologize too, and then you would both be happy. The thing is, she thought she did nothing wrong. My advice next time is don't apologize, people will just assume you are weak and that you are at fault. I know it shouldn't be this way, but that's what always happens. Next time you hang out with her and she tries to discipline your puppy in any way tell her straight up that it is not her place, and do not pinch him. She will most likely respect the fact that you are being straight forward with her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 2:58pm
I have discovered that many people will do something and when they do it - its fine. When you do the same thing - its wrong. I don't know what it is - just that many people cannot see things from someone else's point of view.

I think you shouldn't apologize and if it happens again, then just leave your puppy at home in future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 7:45pm
I do sympathise w/ u on this, it sounds like ur friend was not very nice! ...but maybe I'm missing something - why dont u just not bring ur puppy if u hang out w/ her? I know I wouldnt want any of my pets around someone who would pinch a puppy's neck! Yikes :-( Hugs, Rhiannon
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2003
Thu, 09-04-2003 - 2:35pm
Oh boy do I feel you on this situation! I understand how very frustrating this must be for you. I know that you are tying to be the bigger person by not saying anything to your friend about what she has done, and maybe that is the best thing to do. But if it were me, i would tell her exactly whats on my mind. Let it all out b/c if you don't, it will just build up and a small dispute about disciplining a puupy will turn into deeper issues between the 2 of you. I say tell her how it is and don't let her walk all over you!