Venting about my cousin's pregnancy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
Venting about my cousin's pregnancy
5
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 5:46pm

My cousin is two months younger than me (we are both 26), and due at the end of February. She is a compulsive liar, and you can't believe anything she says (well, my extended family does to a point)-a good example is her being in undergrad 8 years, taking "24 credit hours" every semester, and dropping out this year with nothing to show. She went from not knowing who the daddy is to "well, it could be one of three" to her saying the dad wanted nothing to do with either of them (my guess is that she lied to him about being on the pill to trap him into marrying her). My aunt is a drug addict (I used to stay over at their house in middle school until I caught her and husband #2 smoking pot) and not working either (like my cousin). They got kicked out of their semi decent apartment for not paying rent, and are now living on the most dangerous street in their city.

Every holiday with her is the same thing...Cuz comes with her hand outstretched for stuff, and leaves. Yesterday was no different. My uncle and grandma threw giftcards and cash at her! ALL we did was talk about how GREAT of a mom she will be and how AWESOME her baby is going to be. I don't begrudge the kid, I really feel sorry for it. I just don't need it rubbed in my face about how great she and her baby are. The worst thing is that if I were to get pregs with my boyfriend, I'm 100 percent positive I wouldn't get the same support from them-because I am a functional adult and they wouldn't think that they needed to support me. Retarded.

To top it all off, Cuz came with her 28 page baby registry (keep in mind she is a minimum wage health aide), threw it at me, and said "Cello, you make the big bucks (not really-I work two jobs), so I expect something good!!"

Avatar for cowboys_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 10:32pm

Join the club, of being the responsible, hard working one, who's pushed aside......while everyone dotes on the 'irresponsible, has no clue what they're doing in life' one!

I got divorced, when dd was 4....raised her all by myself for 7 years, bought a house, car, etc.....I am blessed enough to find my DF, getting married, blessed enough to get pg. with a 2nd child & some of my family still treats me like (either) I don't know what I'm doing or downplays 'the excitement' that's happening, in my life......I feel like I just can't win, so I just push away from my family.

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2008
Tue, 12-27-2011 - 7:25am
Cello,

I think we all have a cousin or other family member like this. No matter how much they screw up, they can do no wrong in some people's eyes....it sucks. I'm with you!! And her sense of entitlement would irritate me too... BUT there really isn't much you can do about it. I would take the registry, find something that you think is appropriate & bring it to her baby shower. I think the thing you need to realize is that the family probably does see her for what she is...and that's why they're constantly giving her handouts. You, on the other hand, don't get their handouts be/c they see you differently, more responsibly. Personally, I would rather be seen as the one who doesn't need the special treatment in the family, if you know what I mean?! I would rather take care of myself than have to rely on hand-outs ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Tue, 12-27-2011 - 12:11am

While your cousin sounds like a self-absorbed, conceited brat, and it doesn't seem fair, your grandparents and other relatives have every right to "throw money and gift cards" to whomever they choose to throw money and gift cards!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 9:07pm
<< (my guess is that she lied to him about being on the pill to trap him into marrying her). >>

Pretty cold to say with no proof at all.

I'm also wondering if something else isn't going on here.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 7:58pm
What exactly bothers you??? No offense but could you be jealous?? She sounds like a typical dysfunctional woman who expects others to cater to her. There has to be a reason why she bothers you so much. Maybe this is how you've always been with her from childhood??

San

San