Venting: I don't care for my boyfriend's best friend!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Venting: I don't care for my boyfriend's best friend!
6
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 7:06pm

Hi there! I'm new to this board (but not new to ivillage)... So first of all let me say thanks for letting me get this off my chest!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004

Thanks for the clarification.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Sounds like you're figuring it out. Good for you!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Thank you for your hard-hitting response. It definitely gives me food for thought.

Since first posting, my bf & I have had a few additional conversations and he's admitted to me that his feelings towards his best friend are not has rosy as I had first believed. He says that he does see his friend as an opportunist sometimes. However he said he takes the good with the bad in the friendship and tries not to judge him.

For some background clarification, I am a woman with grown children and neither of us are intending to start (over now with) a family nor do we have any near future plans for marriage. We are both content with the living-together in a committed relationship scenario we have currently. We also have very strong communication between us. I do voice my opinion when it's most important -- I consciously choose to pick my battles so as not to come across as a nag or harpy most of the time. Also, until their recent break-up, I considered both in the couple to be my friends as well, and have just started to see through his friends treatment of his ex, the man's "true colors".

I think it kind of boils down to respecting each other's feelings towards this man and seeing how "time will tell" as we observe him in his new relationship. I've asked my bf to not invite him/them to our home when I'm around and I will try not to spend ]time/direct contact with them if I can help it. Seems to be the best solution for us at the moment.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Sorry for not responding sooner.. I guess I don't have the notifications set right and never knew anyone ever responded to my original post here.

I only spoke to my bf about my feelings not the friend.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004

I'm curious as to why you continue a relationship with a man with whom you can't be honest, with whom you don't share the same values and

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003

I just need some clarification.