Visiting family

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2012
Visiting family
12
Sun, 04-22-2012 - 7:20pm

I am going to visit some family abroad.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 4:59pm
Another thought...quit telling your Mom about your communication with them. I've had to set boundaries and curtail telling them about my life because it only serves as ammunition.

San
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2012
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 4:45pm

My dad did reach out to his family and make amends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2002
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 12:33pm

From what I am reading, you were the one who decided to reach out to these relatives after the dealth of your father...and that these relatives really had no contact with anyone in your immediate family for 25 years before that time.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

.  -Albert Einstein

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 10:54am

While it would be polite for the relatives to ask about your mom once in a while, for her

Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 7:45am
This is called emotional blackmail. Don't allow anyone to control you with it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 12:11am
"My mum has nobody apart from me."

Your Mom is like my Mom...she has no friends and relies on her CHOLDREN to spend time with her. My Mom is toxic and spending time with her is difficult on my self esteem. It's up to my Mom to meet new people to spend time with and not rely on her children as friends. Setting boundaries with Mom forces her to either find friends or spend the bulk of her days alone. She is not my responsibility...I have my own life and so do you!!

San
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2012
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 9:40pm

These relatives are in Australia.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 8:56pm

Has your mother met these relatives, and if so, when was the last time that she saw them? When was the last time that she contacted them and asked how they were doing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 6:58pm
Oh WOW ...no disrespect but she married an alcoholic and proceeded to bring children into an already bad situation. She's dysfunctional and can only operate in a dysfunctional world so I would ignore anything she says in this regard. She really cheated you out of a normal childhood not saved a man....

I would go and have a blast!! You may find a functional family that has been missing your whole life!

San
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2012
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 2:49pm

First of all, I am an adult, not a teenager.

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