Walking away from BFF's for good...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Walking away from BFF's for good...
3
Tue, 06-28-2011 - 6:48pm

I have been friends with Rachel and Mona (not their real names) for over 25 years. Rachel and I grew up together and next door to each other due to the fact that our Moms were BFF's from the 1960's. While Mona met us when her family moved into our neighborhood in the mid 1980's and her Mom became a close friend of Rachel's Mom and mine. We were a well known trio around the neighborhood and it was quite normal that the Dad's will take turns to take us out over the weekend to amusement parks, toy stores etc. However, since Rachel and Mona's Dads were less patient and stricter/intimidating compared to my Dad he ended up taking us out the most. As a result, they grew up with me like sisters and my Dad waslije a second Dad to both of them. Our ideallic childhood was changed when my Mom died from Cancer when I was 12 so the 3 of us stuck together through the thick and thin of it for years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Wed, 06-29-2011 - 3:35pm

Thanks a lot izzyandalexsmommy for your reply, the distance isnt anything new since we went to different countries and cities when we went to University 14 years ago but still managed to stay close. However, over the past 3 years I have barely seen them and I havent travelled out of Europe since I moved here but I maintained communicating as usual but not them. It is an unfortunate situation but I honestly lost any patience or interest in tolerating this see saw of a friendship with either one of them. I even had many people who were calling to check up on me after my Dad died by a couple of weeks who were congratulating me on Rachel's wedding since she is my 'sister'. Its time to move on and find better friends where I don't have to think if I did something or worry if there is a brewing crisis I don't know about.

Thanks a lot cat.alley for your reply, I totally agree with you that I do deserve better. Yes, their stuff is beyond weird and me being endlessly forgiving and saying its OK when its not isnt going to make the truth sound any better. I got beyond fed up and already stopped checking their facebook walls since last week. I got an email from Mona and Rachel today which was along the same lines of excuses but I refused to reply even though I am active on my wall. They know that I never totally ignore an email, text or call unless I don't care about the person at all or I am beyond fed up. They can sort their own problems and issues far away from me from now on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Wed, 06-29-2011 - 2:34pm
You "do" deserve better. Their stuff is weird, and I'd be more than annoyed.

As an aside, it's probably best not to be checking their facebook pages. Makes it more difficult to actually move on, imo.

Sorry you're having these problems with those girls.

Good luck.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Tue, 06-28-2011 - 11:29pm

Distance often complicates friendships.

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