Wannabe controlling Older Brother
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|Thu, 10-31-2013 - 1:19am|
I have a brother who is 2 years older than me- not married , no girlfriend or kids.
I live in a big metro area and since moving back a year ago from living outside of the US where the cost of living was much lower
am seriously considering moving to a different part of my state or cheaper part of the country pending I get a job there at a University
where the cost of living is lower.
My main reasons for doing this is to pay off debt faster and save for graduate school.(possibly in Europe ) I also want to take courses to prepare to apply for graduate school in my current state next summer and avoid out of state fees
My brother is a person who lives very cheaply he has only rented several rooms and has only held a lease in his own apartment a few times in his life....he is 45 I am 43
He recently moved back to my parents home again... but this time for good.....because he could not find a job after returning to florida from a teaching stint in asia.
His plan is to eventually buy a house in my parents city because the prices are really low now and he said it lacked culture this is not his first choice and he told me he would have stayed in Florida if he had a good job offer there where he complained about it not having enough culture...... but I see through him now.
My issue is that .........I told him the other day I was consider moving a smaller town in my state and there is a big university (my target employer and possible school to take classes)
He thinks that this town is slow and too conservative and I would not enjoy a culturally rich life if I lived there for a couple of years to acheive my objective of saving for grad school.
I can't afford/don't want to pay the high rents in many of the cities in the Northeast that have more culture because my main objective is to save money get in grad school by 2015.
This one city I chose to consider moving to has a great transit system, and cute apartments , lower rents and 2 hours away from the my present area
I have mentioned one other city in the Northeast that seems affordable and an hour away from Boston and his first question was "have you been there"?
The thing is he wants me to take his suggestion of a city HE likes and move there.
We had a serious disagreement as I told him where I was considering living and he did not like this city. He actually told me where he felt I needed to be
he ended the conversation by hanging up on me but later apologized by email for hanging up but also in the email said he did not want to continue the conversation about MY LIFE.
he acts like a parent argues where they feel thier kid should go to school. My dad has controlling traits and my brother definetly takes after him. He has had 2 romantic relationships with women that we know of that ended badly......... possibly because of his control issues.
He has also had strong opinions about where I should work in my career and has ALWAYS had negative feedback about ALL of the men I have dated since i was 16.
I really dislike him as a person at this point and see a
controlling pattern and possibly jealously of the oportunities in my life, my ambition and focus for my career and large support system of friends in my faith group that he does not have. He also has been secretive about his life in many ways but my parents don't really question him because I feel he is the favorite child. Another brother of mine have agreed on this in the past.
I have to deal with him because our parents are still living but don't care for him at all
how should I handle it.? We have been fighting for years since being very young kids.
I realize we will never be good friends but he is my brother.