wanting to vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2002
wanting to vent
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 8:35pm

I have been lurking around to read many people's issues with their families, and would like to vent about mine.

I am 26 and married to my husband of 6 years. My parents have never really ever asked about him since we have been married, yet they say they like him. For example, when they call they ask how 'you' (referring to me) are doing, and never ask about him. My husband's parents always ask about me, etc, and always have. My parents have rarely come over to our house. About 2 years ago, my mother had asked us over for dinner (labor day, I think it was), and I said no because we had plans. She didnt ask us in advance, she asked us that day. i said how about another time, and she said no. Well, a few days later after that, I received a "lovely" letter stating how I had NO heart if I declinded a dinner invitation in 5 years since we were married, which was a lie, because we had been over there for Christmas Eve one year. I didnt talk to her, until my dad invited me over for her birthday party. Well, I went for myself, and hubby stayed home, which I understood. It went ok. A month later she blew up at me for something, and I didnt talk to her until after Christmas. Well, needless to say, things never really have been the same. Things about them just irritate me. Mainly because they never ask about my husband, and never ever come over. I cant blame my husband for not wanting to go over to the family functions. My parents live 40 minutes away from me. Also, there is a lot more to life than going over for dinner, etc. Why not just come over and hang with me and my husband? I also get guilt trips, which is why I do not like to talke to them on the phone anymore. I've tried to tell them how I feel, and it does no good. They wont change and they dont understand.

Why should he give them the satisfaction. It's hard to explain, I guess, unless you are in my shoes, huh? This past Wednesday, I had sinus surgery, and I didnt get a call or anything ... until now.


Avatar for cl_2and1more
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 11-24-2003 - 3:10pm

Hello, glad you posted.

It is hard to believe families have such a hard time adjusting.