Wedding Plans Killed Friendship
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|Mon, 11-19-2012 - 7:38pm|
I am getting married in October 2013. Most of the guests are from out-of-town and we know some can't afford it, which is to be expected and that's fine. A good friend of mine (6 1/2 years), let's call her Amy, was emailing me and a mutual friend of ours (who lives in the same town as her, about twelve hours away from me), let's call her Tina, as they were trying to hammer out the best way for them to travel.
Initially, Tina told Amy she would drive and that she and Amy could split the travel costs, which included hotel. I gave Amy a list of reasonably-priced hotels with URLs and distance to ceremony and reception site along with maps via email. I also told Amy that all out-of-town guests would be invited, per tradition, to the rehearsal dinner.
After much thought, Tina decided she wanted to fly as she has older relatives in the area, thus giving her a way to "kill two birds with one stone." Amy was furious that she now had to pay for all of her expenses, instead of splitting, and wanted to know what she would do now that she would have to spend time alone in her hotel room the night of her rehearsal dinner despite me telling her she was invited. She said that Tina assured she was going to drive and now that threw-off all of her plans and increased her expenses. I told Amy that Tina changed her mind, but I could help her find a reasonable alternative with lodging and so forth. She said how would she pay for her hotel room? Car rental? Would I be able to pick her up to and from the airport and drive her to and from the wedding? Could she stay at my 1-BR condo?
Amy also wanted to know why Tina is reading four lines from the Bible and she is not doing anything; the reason for this is Amy made another friend upset when she was a part of this other friend's wedding; all Amy did was complain and had the bride help her with her hair so she could look good, so I told her that you said you never wanted to be a part of another wedding, so that's why I did what I did.
She then said I was talking back-and-forth with Amy and she was done with me. Since then, I've emailed her a couple of times, but no response. I'm wondering if I should just take her and her family off the guest list. She's done this before, when she's stopped speaking to me - the last time was because I wouldn't give her any more money to feed her family because I, along with our other friends, were sick of helping her out when she spends her money on pot.
Should I consider her lack of repsonse a valid reason for removing her from my guest list?