What do I do about this friendship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2009
What do I do about this friendship?
6
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 11:45am

I have a long time friend (15 yrs) who has recently became pregnant. The problem, I fear, is that she already has three children and the two of them have no father involved what-so-ever. She has had at least four different men live with her in the past three years (that I have counted) and was recently diagnosed with serious female health issues. Now, this man who is the father to be is being pushed away. I don't believe this pregnancy was an "accident" as she claims and she plans on being a single mother of four with no job. She lives off of child support and financial assistance. I am disgusted. I am not sure if I should not say and quietly end the friendship, or let her know how I feel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 12:58pm

I'm not sure what the point would be to say anything now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 1:00pm

That's a tough one. I can't blame you for ending the friendship, as your values are clearly different. When I have been in those types of situations, I usually let the friendship "fade away". If your concience is nagging you that "she deserves an explanation", then go that route. I don't think there is anything wrong with either method of handling this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 3:48pm

I understand the way you feel. She seems to be digging herself into a situation, were she might not be able to go out, without serious problems.

I probably would have told her something before. Like: Are u really thinking what you´re getting into? Why have you been quiet for so long?

IMPO, her behavior is self destructive, but as a good friend, I´ll tell her why (she might have the opportunity to learn something)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2008
Sun, 10-24-2010 - 5:28am

Well that sure sounds like a terrible situation that your friend has created for herself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Sun, 10-24-2010 - 11:28am
Nice post.

If I haven't said so before... Welcome to the board.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 1:04pm

Welcome Goddess Rayne. Been reading your posts. You have a lot of good insight.

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