What to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008
What to do?
13
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 10:20am

I'd like anyone's thoughts about this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
In reply to: irishtea
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 10:39am

If you dont want to go, I wouldn't go.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
In reply to: irishtea
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 12:27pm
Are you going to the b.d. party?

Does your oldest brother disrupt family events he's invited to?

Sorry for the questions, but a clearer picture might help.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008
In reply to: irishtea
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 12:51pm

My brother (the "drunk uncle") drinks at events.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
In reply to: irishtea
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 2:28pm
Do you want to see the kids?

I can tell you're really angry with your brother. From posts back before they adopted the kids.

I haven't read anything from you that indicates you care about the adopted kids at all, it seems to be more anger at your brother and his wife.

You should probably kick both of them out of your life. It seems to be hurting you, more than helping you.

I'd advise NOT calling him with the questions you mentioned.

Sorry... I hope your children are doing well.

(sometimes we just have to kick them out of our lives, i've been there and done that.)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2010
In reply to: irishtea
Thu, 06-23-2011 - 4:42am

I'd like to know from Cat ALLEY that by kicking people out of your life doesnt mean they go away, and everytime you see them at a family occasion theres all these awkward moments ... you cant actually kick them out ...

I would go for a short time and say hi and tell them you cant stay long - they probably dont want you there that long anyway but people need people and they want you there for whatever reason. You have been invited, go for half an hour - it wont kill you to do it ...

My brother just ahd a new baby and his psycho wife wont let us visit the new baby.. so im pretty irritated with them too...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008
In reply to: irishtea
Thu, 06-23-2011 - 10:01am

Hi Sultan -

Thanks for your reply.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
In reply to: irishtea
Thu, 06-23-2011 - 12:55pm
Yes, you can actually cut them completely and totally out of your life.

It's up to you. But saying it can't be done... well, that's wrong. It can. And I have.

It's all a matter of how important it is to you.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2010
In reply to: irishtea
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 3:20am

Hi - thanks for your replies.. I did contact my brother and he and I have now started talking again which makes me feel a lot better, I feel I dont even need to meet the new baby now as we have had cleared a lot up in the conversations. My brother never realised that by excluding us from his life for so long meant that he

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
In reply to: irishtea
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 3:00pm

In this situation, I'd suggest you take a little time to consider what your actual feelings are and what the ramifications of acting on those feelings will cost you and then do whatever feels right to you.

Personally, I'm always a bit weirded out by such an open adoption.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
In reply to: irishtea
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 3:19pm
Sadie, I don't consider someone mentioning someone else's name in my company, as my not having had cut them out of my life successfully. If that's going to throw one for a loop, then I agree there's no way for that person to do it. It's a matter of perspective, I suppose.

I will admit that my circumstances in my family are extreme, and very few people can relate.

Not sure how to take your reference to "snippets".


 

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