What should I do with my sis?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2003
What should I do with my sis?
5
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 2:49am
Hi all! Thanx for listening my story here.

It all happened yesterday evening.

My 2 younger sisters (23 and 16)and my mom went out shopping for food and I was feeding my baby (3 1/2 months) and trying to put her to sleep. Then they came back, my siss were in the bathroom and washing their hands and all of the sudden they started to scream in a high pitch voice just for fun!! Then my baby started crying coz she was scared! I was quite pissed off because of that coz you know how difficult for babies to fall asleep when they are fussing.

Anyway I asked my mom to tell them to keep their voice down then my mom start to lose it with me and told me to tell them myself, and I did, I went into the 23 year-old's room and said to her "would you guys keep your voice down?" then she looked at me in a bitchy way and said "You could have closed the door" I was really angry coz I didn't know when they would come back and what's the point to close the damn bedroom door while everyone is out?? so i said "why do you mean by that? do you need to say that in that kind of way?"

then my mom came along to told me to shut up! i said 'why don't you blame her for that but you say this to me" then my mom was like all defending her and stuff. and i kept on yelling at my sis saying that it that was her in my baby's shoe, wouldn't you be pissed? then she said 'so what do you want? do you want to beat me up then?", I was like in rage!!! then i just walked off!! and my mom kept on saying that i was wrong going to my sis and yell at her!

I didn't talk to her today and I don't think I want to talk to her for as long as I could. coz she doesn't think that she was wrong...

I was really upset and pissed off... so do you think i was wrong??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 8:04am
Well, it sounds as if you have a reason to be mad. When there is a baby in the house, people really should be more aware.

Are you living with your mom and sisters?

Ejkdmom Come visit my store: www.leorra.com
Avatar for cl_2and1more
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 9:29am
I'm sorry that you had such a bad evening. I hop ethat you were able to calm down and be of comfort to your child.

It is too hard to judge a situation when we do not get the full picture. But by your own post it does sound like maybe you lost it as well. I am sure that there is more to the whole story and the lving situation than we know. But it helps to stay calm even when everyone else is upset. You should choose to walk away. To continue yelling will not help the situation.

But maybe today you can look at what happen and figure some things out. You asked your mom to tell your sister to be quiet. Why? Your mom got upset and told you to tell them yourself. Why didn't you tell them fromt he start? Are you having your mom be a go between too often? At that point you were probably upset. You said your sister responded to you in "tone". Think about how you sounded. Did you maybe have a little "tone" as well. You were unhappy that they carelessly woke up your baby, then your mom upset you. Maybe you sounded a bit bitchy at that point too.

These are questions that only you can answer. If we can see yourself from others people point of view it helps us become better people.

Now, did you have a right to be upset? Yes! Was it a reason to have a yelling match with your sister? Probably not.

I hope that you are normally happy at your house. If not maybe you can look towards getting a different place.

Good luck,

Melissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 10:18am
Thanks for replying my message.

I am staying with them at the moment because I gave birth in February and my MIL wouldn't help out for taking care of my new born (*tears* that's another story...) that's why I'm staying with my parents and sis until Angust, I'll go back to England.

I haven't talked to my sis today coz I just don't feel like it... hum...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 10:29am
Thanx a lot for your advice. I appreciate it.

I do think that you have your point there, maybe I was a bit over-reacted. I don't really have a problem staying with my parents, but whenever my sis is there (she works overseas) for some reasons (I don't know what) she is verbally abusive to make me look bad and feel low about myself. for example I'm going to take my driving exam in 2 months and having lessons now, when she found out she just said "Oh yeah, good luck then" in a "i don't think you'll make it" tone... and whenever she knows I bought new things like a cell phone she would instantly want one.

I haven't graduated high-school and she graduated college and that's why she's always talk to me in that sort of superior tone... as if I didn't know where I came from, thank god I'm not that kinda person who has low self esteem, even so, I don't feel good about people like that around me though she's my sis...

Thanks so much for reading and giving me advice. I think I just need some time to think it over... at the end of the day she's my sis... though she's never treated me like hers...

Avatar for cl_2and1more
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 11:05pm
So glad I didn't offend you. I did think about my post as the day went by and hoped that I didn't come across badly. Sometimes it is hard to read what the other person was trying to say. :-)

I know others have spoken about their sisters acting the same way. I truely believe that people who feel the need to put someone else down, are the ones suffering from low self esteem. The only way they can feel good about themselves is to put down others. So try to keep that in mind next time she goes for that "tone". She must feel badly about herself to feel the need to do that. It will help to see her in a different light.

Hope the rest of the week-end goes well for you.

Melissa