When a parent talks about suicide...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
When a parent talks about suicide...
10
Thu, 01-19-2012 - 1:32pm

Just got back from a 6 day visit to my family in the Midwest.

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 3:08pm
Your mom sounds like she is dealing with depression & with this then everything becomes very overwhelming. My DH suffers from chronic, depression and if his meds need changes then I watch him decline until we can get the changes made. He will find even making a cup of coffee too much effort & he constantly talks/thinks about suicide. One of his doctor's described DH's feelings as if you are in the bottom of a bucket drowning but you are too exhausted to even float.

We have to put DH on 24 hr suicide watch when he starts getting depressed. His doctors have told us that talking doesn't mean they won't do it when the emotions become too overwhelming. Your Mom needs help. Hopefully your call to her therapist will help the therapist deal with this situation. I have had many conversations where it was all one sided from me but things were dealt with by the doctor.

Good luck to you & like others, Gram needs some type of assistance that isn't your Mom. Also, your Mom maybe panicking about being alone once your Dad passes. regardless of your view of your parent's marriage. My Mom freaked when Dad died suddenly (remarried 18 mths later). Their marriage wasn't that greatest at all but she was afraid of being alone & ran into another awful relationship in her panic.

Dee
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 11:21am

Perhaps it is time to find an alternative for your Gram, in regards to living.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 9:09am
I guess everyone's experiences are different. In my case, the persons did talk about it beforehand.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 8:48am
Hi, I'm sorry for you, you are between a rock and a hard place. In my experience, yes, my experience, I'm not expert...people who attempt suicide generally don't talk about it...not that it's any consolation.
Try calling the local Dept. of the Aging...they will know about all resources available in your parent's area.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 7:21am

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Fri, 01-20-2012 - 2:37am

Your parents probably have access to a hospice. Call the hospital in your parents community and ask who to contact at hospice. These folks can provide tremendous resources to the dying and their families.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 01-19-2012 - 10:00pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 01-19-2012 - 8:37pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Thu, 01-19-2012 - 6:31pm
You can only do do much especially since you live so far away. Is there any reason why you wouldn't take her seriously, for example, she's someone who likes attention, etc. Did you discuss this with her?

My Mother likes to be emotionally manipulative and about 10 years ago I wanted to move out of state. I was told by my Mother that if I moved and left my sister to care for my Mother she would kill herself. At that time I recognized that it was her way of keeping me there but that was the beginning of some strict boundaries between my Mother and I. I'm not responsible for whether my Mothet lives or dies.

San
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Thu, 01-19-2012 - 3:44pm
I did end up calling her therapist. It's a small town and the therapist answered the phone LOL. She talked to me but of course the lady could not acknowledge that she even knows my mom. I said I understand, so I'll just talk at her and say my mom's name and she could respond generically.

Evidently I cannot really call any authorities because there is no clear and eminent danger (gun to her head, drinking herself to death). Just talking about it and not mentioning a clear plan to carry through wasn't enough to get officials involved.

But how to respond appropriately to non-clear threats? I didn't quite get what I was supposed to do. It was really advice if something was about to happen.