when there is joy in just being cruel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
when there is joy in just being cruel
Sat, 09-20-2003 - 6:17pm
hi to one and all ...right now i could use some shoulders to cry on a few ears to bend , and some advice or words of wisdom..and the name of a good hit man..

heres the situation..and i apologize for the foreward but it needs to be set up..so please read to the finish..

my grandparents (deceased for 3 years) owned a farm..20 years ago my parents (mother is only child) bought the family "ancestrial " home (150 years old ) next farm down and restored it...this was mainly to help out my grandparents..

across the road from my grandparents there were two small house ..one which they used as a rental , the other was given to my brother as payment to help my grandfather as needed..this house did require adding on and remodeling ..

when my grandmother died (nearly 3 years ago , grandpa has been gone for 7) my mother gave my brother my grandparents home (this is a 4 bedroom ranch with dining room and parlor) and farm as his advance inheritance..and in return my mother was to get my brothers house to do as she pleased..

my mother moved my son into the house for about a year , but my brothers wife threw such a fit about it that mother LET her charge my son rent..now this was supposed to now be my mothers SPARE house..but now my sister in law is charging my son rent...

not that i expected him to live there free..but if rent was to be charged it should have gone to my mother NOT to my sister in law..

everyone has bowed to my sister in law because she is such a total BITCH..that if she doesnt get her way she makes everyones life miserable..if she wants it..she gets it..

but to get to the problem...

back many many years ago ...when my pet died my grandparents said i could bury my animals in a little nook along the creek..this is in the very back of my grandparents farm...and over the years we've buried my pets , my kids pets (the last we buried was my 13 year old daughters cat that had been accidently killed..the death of this cat tore her to pieces... this was HER cat...very bonded...and after now 5 months she still breaks down and cries)..and we have put up tomb stones..just concrete slabs with plastic letters but still a memorial for the love that they gave to us...

this afternoon, my boyfriend and i took my 13 year old and my daughter in law and granddaughter back to our little cemetary..to do some repair work and to have a picnic in the woods...

and what i saw...i lost it!..

the tombstones and been piled up..or tossed aside...(6 of them)

and not only am i crying but my daughter too..

how can anyone be so cruel...

we started moving them back into place and my brother rides down and i asked him why would he do something like this..something so cruel...

he says for me to tell the kids to go away and hed tell me why...

and he gives me this ...he PAYS rent(he doesnt) and he pays the taxes and he pays the insurance and he gives half the crops to dad..and he doesnt want this in HIS back yard..

now we are talking a distance so far that it takes 5 minutes on a 4 wheeler to get there...

and that this was IN HIS WAY...now we're talking basically a 6' x 6' section of SAND!!!

and i told him that years ago that our grandparents said i could bury my animals there, he says well its HIS now...

and in that im not hearing my brother but that bitch he married...

and that he doesnt want it there BECAUSE "I" embarrass him ...and the family..

and the calls me an adultress...and he doesnt want anything that has to do with me on HIS land...ok i admit it ..ive been having an affair for 5 years ..big deal..even my granddaughter calls him grandpa..

what has this got to do with a pet cemetary...

meanwhile now my daughter is crying...

and i told him he never acted like that until he married that bitch...(see now that shes got her hands on everything shes REALLY let loose) and he says not to go there

he then tells my boyfriend that he has no business even being on the property and to leave right now

and that if i leave the stones there ill come back and they will be gone again...and i need to leave right now too..

my brother used to be a pretty even going guy..but hes not the same brother i watched over as a kid..

so i went up to my mothers and she wanted to know if carla (sister in law) was there and no one knew and she said something must have gotten into wendells butt..so shes making excuses...and i told her that i had been told that SHE had told wendell(my brother) that if the stones were in his way that he could just mow right over them...these stones are in sand under a tree in a cow pasture 15 feet from a creek...

ohh and these stones were big and heavy enough that they could not be lifted by one person..

its pretty obvious who helped...dear sister in law

this all might not mean much to most people , but my "family" knows how much my pets mean to me...unconditional love..

this was an act of cruelity that is beyond my fathoming

my 23 year old daughter just called...her cat died last year , shed had Squeeker since she was 6 years old..and shes buried there too....she used to dress that cat in doll clothes and then take her for rides in her bicycle basket..and then shed take the cat to bed with her and read to her every night..

now shes crying...how can uncle wendell be so cruel??

all i could explain to her was that he is stiking at me..and thats pretty much what he said..he doesnt want anything of mine on HIS farm...

i wonder what our grandparents are looking down from heaven and thinking?

does anyone have any suggestions?......

its crossed my mind to post his address and let public opinion nail him ...??a possibility?

my email..fairytale54@yahoo.com

Avatar for leslie2353
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 09-21-2003 - 1:12am
Legally, if there's a contract, what your grandparents promised you years ago does not exist. Whether your SIL is a bitch or not, or whether Wendel was acting differently, the fact of the matter is that THEY ARE NOW the new owner of that land. What IF: that land didn't belong to your brother and sister in law. Would you demand your rights and trespass, just because you once bury your pets there?

My DH's grandmother promised him something WE COULD HAVE after she died. She didn't put it in writing, and of course I wanted it. In order to have 'IT' we have to buy it from his mother, because she's evil and greedy woman who doesn't like me. But if her son (my DH) married someone else that she likes, she would have been GLAD to just GIVE IT TO HER no strings attach. That's what she did to the two younger sons after marriage, and they didn't even know the grandmother.

Back to your question: Your brother or SIL would have given you notice to transfer your burials someplace else so they are not to be disturbed. If they want to remain PEACE with the family, but it's too bad this whole thing is ripping everyone to pieces. About the rent: that's PLAIN COLD! He's family! But if they really need cash, then they should let him know before he moved in. Usually, instead of rent, if I were the SIL, I'd expect son to help around with chores to help pay for instead of RENT.