The whole world is on my shoulders

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2008
The whole world is on my shoulders
2
Sun, 10-13-2013 - 7:04am
I need a little guidance or suggestions at this point. I feel like I have the whole worl on my shoulders. I have a job that everyone comes to me for everything and they demand sometime more then I can handle and when I try to talk to my boss about it it does not good. In my family right now my mom is the caregiver for my grandmother that has alzheimers disease and can be a handful. So when my mom has a bad day she puts it all on me to vent her frustrations and or concerns. I have a bad foot right now so I have been in a walking cast for going on 5 weeks now and can't go do any traveling like I normally do.

How do I get rid of all this stress that I know is affecting my body I know that my mom needs me but there are just times that I wish I could tell her that I've had a bad day and she wouldn't put it all on me. I have tried that but she starts to cry and say she doesn't have anyone else to vent to that understands her. I crochet scarves for charities and thankfully that is keeping me more then busy and my mind somewhat calm but I still need ideas

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 10-14-2013 - 1:12pm

First, I would ask if there is a support group your mom can join.  She needs someone besides you to support her.  Not necessarily instead of you, but hopefully in addition to you.   

It sounds like something will have to give in your life.  Not sure what it will be, but if you don't find some balance, you may just crack.  Are you getting any exercise?  I know it sounds crazy in a packed schedule, but even some light walking can help.  Only you can decide what part you can live with and what has to change. 

I don't know what your belief system is, but if you have a faith in anything at all, I would pray for direction and guidance. 

Good luck. 

Serenity CL making a second marriage work

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 10-14-2013 - 8:27pm

Is your mom caring for your grandmother at home?  She should look into whether there are any support services.  I know that can be difficult.  My SIL was taking care of her aunt in the aunt's home (she was hired by her cousins because they all had jobs and really didn't want to do it anyway)--eventually she was paid by the state, probably because it was a lot cheaper than a nursing home, but they also paid someone to come in for a few hours a week so she could get a break--maybe she could call the elder services in your town & look into that.

They do say at work if there are too many things to do, you should ask your boss what it the priority to be done first.  It's difficult--you don't want to sound like a whiner.  I know there are a lot of articles on how to reduce stress--meditation, reading, gardening, etc.