Why is this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2000
Why is this?
10
Sat, 03-26-2011 - 1:37am

Is it me or can anyone relate to this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: uana
Thu, 04-14-2011 - 8:05pm

hellooo....get a clue lol. . There is no way one can continue to blame others and be in denial if they aren't enabled and one has to just has to be selective about who they allow into that circle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2004
In reply to: uana
Sun, 04-10-2011 - 6:37am

On a few occasions, when growing up, I've heard my mother say about adult children, something like, "The one who does the least/doesn't bother with their parents much is more/better thought of than the others."

I wonder if she experienced something similar or if it was an observation becaue she never elaborated on that further.



“It’s sometimes hard to listen without judgement but people do appreciate being heard.” aka Sam Spade, 23rd August 2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
In reply to: uana
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 11:28am

Oh that is sad that your MIL wasn't there for your DH when he could have used it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
In reply to: uana
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 10:20pm
That really is sad... sheesh.

 

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
In reply to: uana
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 9:34pm
My DH is the middle of 5. He was the "good" child so his DM thought but what she didn't know, didn't hurt her. I used to get frustrated as DH was always forgotten, ignored & the last one invited anywhere. I eventually learned that MIL loved DH but as she put it, "he doesn't need me, he never has and the others do need me". That is how she justified leaving DH alone.

I believed her until he got sick & needed her but she was embarrassed because he had a breakdown. This meant that he was weak and she refused to have anytime to do with him until he was better. FIL would sneak out to met DH without telling her. I have learned over the years to accept that she had a fear of mental illness but it's sad that the one time DH did need her, she turned him away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
In reply to: uana
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 12:40pm

I think it's human nature for people to try harder with the illusive one. Personally, I don't see the logic in that. People end up hurting others who are always "there" for them when they are busy persuing the other child.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011
In reply to: uana
Sun, 03-27-2011 - 5:32pm

I can relate. My oldest sister doesn't give a d___ about what my parents think. My parents are divorced and my dad doesn't really care. My dad has his own life with a step daughter of his own. My mom is heart broken. My sister is the only daughter she has out of 4 kids. My mom never had much use for boys. She had no patience for us getting dirty, getting hurt, collecting bugs and our fascination with fireworks. And this carries through to today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
In reply to: uana
Sat, 03-26-2011 - 10:50am
I'm not going to go into too much right now, because it's painful for me..

But my parents always doted on 3 of my 4 siblings, and still do to the point of enabling. One is dead from drug abuse/alcohol o.d. and a house fire, one is doing 26 years for meth, one is a drug-addicted prostitute piece of crap who lost custody of both her children.

My one other brother and myself have nothing to do with my parents anymore. Their thinking is just too screwed up. They are reaping, what took years, for them to sow. I appreciate all their suffering, lol. No one deserves it more than them.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
In reply to: uana
Sat, 03-26-2011 - 10:47am

I had to laugh when I read your post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
In reply to: uana
Sat, 03-26-2011 - 9:38am

Yes, I think it is VERY often the case where the child who doesn't give a hoot gets the most attention.