Why are people so rude?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Why are people so rude?
6
Sun, 08-17-2003 - 6:55am
I just don't know why people are so freakin' rude sometimes! Friday night, I spent the night w/ my cousin and her friend at their shared house. They are early 20s and I am 18. They had a party and I met a lot of great people including a lot of people from my college that I had never met before. However there was one girl, age 21, named Tara, who was just MEAN to me. I don't get it. Apparently she is a friend of my cousin's friend...and she had this obsession w/ my being 18. I guess she thought I was too young to be there. I wasn't even drinking, just hanging out. In fact out of 15 people at the party I would say maybe HALF were drinking beer and the rest of us don't even like drinking or weren't in the mood for it. I was one of only 3 underage ppl there (the other 2 were 20) and Tara was all paranoid the whole night saying how we were going to get "busted" for me being there and why was I invited, etc, it was completely rude. I am the type of person who if I dont like someone I stay clear of them but this Tara person just kept hanging around me and asking me 1000 questions. "So how come you're 18 but you started college early are you some kind of genius" (said with a sarcastic evil laugh) "Why don't you have a bf is it because you're SO tall? I know guys seem to like short girls best" (I am 5'11 and have never had a problem getting a bf thank u very much - apparently she thought this comment was ok since she's "tall" too at maybe 5'9 or something) Tara also made rude comments about other ppl's weight, hairstyles, etc...usually to their face or in a roundabout way. She was not drunk either, I think she had 1 beer. Oh yeah another thing she did, whenever I would talk to anyone, guy or girl, she would make sure to come up and let them know I was 18. She acted like I was a person w/ an STD getting ready to have unprotected sex w/ them...like "OMG I HAVE to tell/warn u she is EIGHTEEN!" As though I were 11 or something!? My cousin and her friend didn't really notice this and I certainly didn't think it was their job to stop Tara from bothering me but really, what can u SAY to such a rude person? I felt like ignoring her was not helping but I was not about to get all bent out of shape and let her know she was getting to me. Why do ppl act that way? Honestly!? Rhiannon

PS Thanks for letting me vent :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-17-2003 - 8:08am
She may be older but is completely immature. It sounds like this girl has very low selfesteem if she has to find some fault with everyone else. I think i would have said something like "I have to refresh my Coke" and gone off, left her never to return to the area she was in.I hope you didnt show her she was getting to you.

I am also tall 5'10 or so (whatever 180cm is) and yes guys a lot of guys like shorter girls but some guys like heavy set women, some like sticks and some guys love tall girls. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round so I wouldnt worry about her comment. Most important is that a guy like you for you and not how tall you are, a lesson that Tara hasnt learned yet obviously.



Anyway i think you handled the situation very well.

Brenda

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Sun, 08-17-2003 - 11:04am
Thanks Brenda, it helps to hear that I wasn't just being a pushover, I was trying not to be immature like her and I knew she wasnt the type I could easily stop by saying "gosh ur rude" (a normal person would probably leave me alone at that). I agree she seems immature. I know my cousin doesnt like her either, but my cousin's main reason is that Tara has a lot of nice things and her parents buy them for her but Tara CLAIMS she buys them herself. I could care less about that but I just don't like ppl being rude! U are right about the different types, I am tall and somewhat thin but still big, since I am so tall, and a lot of guys like my looks. My sis is tiny and skinny, and guys like her. My mom and cousin are both sorta short and quite heavy and find plenty of guys interested in them, giving compliments, etc. No matter who u r there are ppl who find u attractive if u take care of yourself :-) There was a guy at this same party who is adorable and he is maybe 5'7 or something and he asked me for my phone no. Maybe Tara was jealous :-) LOL Rhiannon
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Sun, 08-17-2003 - 12:20pm
I'm sure you will find not only her, but lots of others rude as well. I just moved from Ohio to Arizona where there is a HUGE difference in people. They were sooooo rude in Ohio, and much nicer here.

Also, I am 38 and still get cattiness from women, this is just the beginning for you I'm afraid!

You handled the situation very maturely, there are lots of women even in the 40's and 50's still making offhanded comments like teenagers.

Don't let anyone know their jealousy is getting to you, it's exactly what they want!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Sun, 08-17-2003 - 1:41pm
Sounds to me like this girl "Tara" has a problem with pathological jealousy.

Anyway, lots of men prefer taller women. My last boyfriend had never dated too many women under 5'6. He liked taller.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Sun, 08-17-2003 - 4:06pm
I agree I think plenty of men like tall women! I am a natural redhead too and I have found that a lot of guys don't dig redheads but then there are this huge percentage who ***LOVE*** redheads. I say hey it's all good :-) It works out! Rhiannon
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Sun, 08-17-2003 - 7:33pm
I'm 5'6, but wish I were taller. And in particular, I wish my legs were longer.