Why do I feel so alone all of the sudden??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Why do I feel so alone all of the sudden??
5
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 11:56pm

So this past year I have been going through a lot of personal changes. I've cut some people out who weren't good for me and I've tried keeping people who are good for me. But I haven't really been able to find good people to add to my list of good friends.

I am 25 and going on my second degree. I'm also interning and working at the same time. So I don't have much time to hang out with people anyways and I'm usually really tired as a result of all of my busyness.

But now that my semester is coming to a close, all of the sudden I feel super lonely and I feel like no one cares about me. I mean sure my family will always care about me and the few good friends that I have will always be there for me but they live really far away from me. All of my good friends live up to 1000 miles away so here at home I seriously feel as though I have no one. The friends I do have are just well acquaintences right now they haven't gone past the just talking at school or work phase.

It's odd b/c over the summer I didn't have a job or was in school or interning. I honestly had nothing to do over the summer except work out and do crafts haha. But at that time I didn't feel as lonely as I do now.

Plus recently I deleted my facebook page b/c I was getting annoyed with it. My mother had an issue with her health this past weekend and so I updated my status on it and I only received one response from a friend from afar wishing me the best of luck and sending me good vibes. No one else answered. It was really odd as I have 200 friends on there and only one person took the time to wish me well. It just made me feel worse b/c my sister did the same thing and she received many responses from friends.

I don't know if I'm just going through one of those odd phases where everything sucks or what? Has this ever happened to you and any words of advice? Should I join a dirty novel book club hahaha... j/k... but really?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Wed, 11-24-2010 - 5:55am

Sorry about your mother's current health, hopefully all will be well. I wish you and your mother the very best.

I can deffinitely relate to your situation. I'm also 25, a few yrs ago I had also made the decision to put an end to some unhealthy relationships. Now I try to surround myself with good friends only. At first everything was going great I made plenty of friends through university and through the job I had at the time.

When I graduated I decided to move back to my home town. The plan was to stay there for a year spend time with family and save money to go back to school for a second degree. However things didn't turn out that way. My grandfather fell ill and during this same time my father also began having health problems. I helped my mother take care of both my grandfather and my father, it became a full time job. Eventually my grandfather passed away and my father continues to have health issues.

It's been over 2 yrs since I moved back home, I've lost touch with the majority of my friends and haven't been able to make new friends here b/c I've been so busy with family issues and work. I've only managed to keep in touch with a few friends but they live far away. My bf and I have been long distance the whole time, while he tries to be supportive, we are

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2008
Wed, 11-24-2010 - 6:18am

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Wed, 11-24-2010 - 11:49am

Thanks for your response!

My mother is doing a lot better thanks! She is actually at the doctor right now doing a followup. She's been having blood pressure problems and having fainting spells so they're just making sure everything is ok.

But I have lived at home all through college except for during last summer because I worked at a summer camp. The fact that I live at home is another factor here. I go to school and work in the city whereas I live about an hour away from the city so it's been hard to get to things without spending tons of money on gas. The public transportation here is lacking but luckily with the company I have begun working with this past semester they provide free passes for their employees so I can drive up to the nearest station which is 30 minutes away and take the train to the city. But yep that's another reason why it's been hard to make new friendships around here b/c everything is super far away.

All of my good friends that I had nearby have gone off to different cities around the US so I go and visit them periodically b/c my dad works for Delta so I get flying benefits. And also last summer when I worked at that summer camp I met a lot of great people and I began going out with someone. He unfortunately lives 1000 miles away so we had to end it because neither one of us knew how to handle it. I still care for him a lot and I know he still cares for me but it's just hard. We're both going through a transitioning phase and both had a lot of stuff going on before we met each other so it was hard to be able to work on a long distance relationship and be sane.

People invite me to go to things with them but I always am busy it seems like. I'm planning on moving to another city once I graduate in May with my second degree. I have a group of friends there that I go and see a few times a year so I know I'll be way happier there. But right now I'm feeling a bit negative about my situation. Hopefully I won't feel so alone soon. But thanks again for sharing your experience! That helps me see I'm not alone :).

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Wed, 11-24-2010 - 12:13pm

I'm glad your mum's doing better. I know what it's like to be too busy to cultivate new friendships, while getting out of relationships that aren't good for us. I've been through the same things myself. Especially when I was in school. I know making new friends takes time, but we don't always have enough time to even get our personal errands done.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2010
Wed, 11-24-2010 - 12:44pm

Hello,

Glad to hear that your mother is doing better.