Why do some people call your home and cell phones repeatedly without leaving a message

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2011
Why do some people call your home and cell phones repeatedly without leaving a message
28
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 4:57pm

I have this problem with a couple of friends and it is never something urgent, it is like they think whatever they want is more important than whatever it is

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2011

Thank you elc11, I feel exactly the same way you do about the phone. I also think the phone is there for my convenience and I found out the hard way that answering and telling people who are that way that you will call them back later simply doesn't work because they will keep you on the phone until you become frustrated trying to end the call. I do think these friends I'm talking about have too much free time and I guess they assume everybody else has nothing to do so they call and call. Their calls are also at least an hour long and they are the kind of people who will get upset if you say you have to go so I only call them back when I have that kind of time but the constant ringing of the phone gets on my nerves. Even my 10 yr old daughter asks me why I have friends like that and she wonders what's wrong with them.

I agree that it must be self-centered behavior, it is like saying I don't care what you are doing, talk to me. Sometimes I miss the time before cell phones, at least back then people didn't expect you to always be available. I am glad for my caller ID, answering machine and voice mail but I wish you could select some numbers for which the answering machine would pick up without the phone ringing, wouldn't that be wonderful!

I will never understand people who are always by the phone when life has so much more to offer. Like you I think family time is way more important than the phone. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, I agree with everything you said. :)

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998

I don't know why people would keep calling you every 30 minutes all day long, after you've told them to leave a message and you'll call back when you have time to chat. Maybe they have too much free time so they'd rather keep trying to call you then leave a message and wait for you to call back. Or maybe its just self-centered behavior? I guess you'll need to keep telling them to leave a message...although maybe then your voice mailbox will get full from the same people leaving the same message every 30 minutes LOL. I guess if it gets really annoying you can block their numbers? That'll get their attention.

I screen ALL of my calls. IMO the phone is there for my convenience. Our landline doesn't have Caller ID but we have an answering machine with the speaker turned on so we can hear the message at any of the handsets. We started screening calls about 15 years ago when the kids were 10 & 13 and the phone was ringing constantly, especially at dinner time. I had a friend who unplugged her phone from the time she started cooking dinner until dinner was over and the kitchen cleaned up, so there would be no interruptions. I thought that was a little extreme (what if someone's trying to reach us about an emergency?) but we made a rule of no answering the phone while we were seated around the table. From there it made sense to find out who is calling first...now that the kids are grown and gone the majority of calls are telemarketing or surveys.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
If you've talked to them about this and they continue to do it, anyway... then I'm with Izzy here.

This changes the whole discussion.

And why would you want friends that ignore your requests like that? I was originally wondering why you wouldn't want to talk with them, but now it's making more sense. I don't recall you telling us that you had spoken to them about it, and they ignored you.

And Anna isn't "lucky" that her friends are respectful... that's something one works at. Doesn't fall into our laps.



 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2011

Thank you Izzyandalexmommy. You are lucky that all your friends are respectful and don't pester you with constant intrusive calls, I guess you know how to pick them right! I agree that I need to reconsider those 2 friends since talking to them doesn't work and they simply ignore my request to just leave me a message instead of calling all my phones every half an hour. I really like the way you are training your daughter and her friends on phone etiquette, it will serve them well in life. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002

I wouldnt know what to suggest, my friends and family are all reasonably respectful in regards to communication.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2011

So far it doesn't look like I'm going to find out why some people think it is OK to stalk others on the phone. Sometimes I wonder if it s a narcissism problem since they seem to be saying "drop everything, I come first" instead of leaving a message and talking when it is convenient for both people. Does anyone have a formula to deal with this issue?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007

What truth would that be?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007

My now ex-SIL would never answer the phone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Agreeing to disagree doesn't then include a put down, so I don't.

You have a nice day, too.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2011

Cat.alley - I don't understand why you keep trying to turn this into a fight but I will tell you the same thing I told her, let's just agree to disagree. I was trying to help her since she posted on my post but if you have an issue with that then fine. I suppose the two of you are friends and I think sometimes being a friend means telling your friend the truth and not just what they want to hear. Have a nice day.

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