Why is my mother acting like the child in the family??

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2007
Why is my mother acting like the child in the family??
5
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 4:56pm

I'm not sure where to start but my mother has been absolutely unbearable lately. When I moved out a few years ago, I was unable to take my large dog with me to my apartment, so she agreed to keep him at her house where there is a yard for him. I have remained financially responsible for him, and agree that this is only fair. He is sick and may have to be put down soon. Over the weekend, I stayed at her house to keep an eye on him just in case things got worse. He isn’t getting worse, but not getting better either. My mother seems to think this is her opportune time to go back to her old ways of manipulating me, which she did ALL THE TIME when I use to live with her years ago. My best friend was over during the weekend and noticed her behavior which included intentionally trying to embarrass me in front of her, putting me down, insulting me, and then she also had a full-blown meltdown because she couldn’t get her lawnmower to work. I had intended on having a nice afternoon with my friend and mother since they hadn’t seen each other in quite some time. Instead, it was a disaster, and the last time I invite her over again to my mother’s house. We aren’t children anymore, and both have full-time jobs, money, our own cars and apartments, and our own lives. My mother seems to think its okay to treat us like we are back in high school.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Sorry I don't have much advice right now, but wanted you to know I read it, and I hope your dog is going to be ok... If at all possible, I'd try to find somewhere else to put your dog. Your mom sounds like someone you'd want to distance yourself from.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004

Sorry about your dog...hope he is feeling better soon.

As for your mother...I just don't think it's a good idea for anybody to expect favors from somebody they aren't comfortable with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002

If you look back on your life, compared to your Mom's life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004

Sorry no advice except that once this dog situation is resolves (which I am SO sorry about btw) it is time to stop inviting friends to visit you at her home and to stop keeping anything of yours at her home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2007
Thank you for the advice on this. I do understand that by her taking care of my dog is a big favor, however, there is more to the situation than what I explained in my original post. She wanted to take care of him provided I care for him financially, due to the fact that she wanted security and didn't want to be left alone in a big house. Leaving him there was obviously a tough decision but after weighing the factors it had to be done. Just because i didn't, and couldn't take him with me doesn't mean I don't take pet ownership seriously. It was also best for him to keep living in a house with a yard, instead of being in an apartment.

I agree that keeping some distance from her is the best option until she realizes that you don't understand what you have until it's gone. Only then she may change her attitude towards me.

Thanks everyone for the responses, they have been helpful.