Will it last?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Will it last?
Wed, 02-29-2012 - 5:45pm
One of my biggest complaints is the opposite of what most you have. I WANT to spend more time with my il's. I have no other family here and have so disappointed in the past few decades at their lack of involvement in our lives. Lately however my mil has really seemed to want to spend time with us. She said she wants to attend the kids programs (which she has never shown interest in before) and to let her know when (she doesn't say things she isn't going to do like my step mil does) The kids are so excited. She also invited dh and I to lunch where she works and we went yesterday and it was awesome. I hope we can continue to enjoy each others company. :) Just thought I'd put some good in when there is some.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Wed, 02-29-2012 - 9:37pm
I hope it does last....sometimes people change and it sticks!!! Just be cautious so you aren't heart broken just in case it changes back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2011
Sun, 03-04-2012 - 4:33pm

I have always had the same feeling about my MIL/ FIL. I wanted them also to spend time with my kids. They never seemed keen on doing that. I would often invite them to dinners, lunches, activities and they would come along but would not pay that much attention to the kids, more interested to talking to my husband and I. After a while I realized that they were getting the better end of the deal. I was shopping, cooking, cleaning up the house for them, all the while I was ignoring my own kids so that the house would be tidy and they would have a nice meal. Then I would clean up and wonder why I did all that. In the meantime, my friends would tell me that they had lunch/dinner AT IL"S HOUSE and I WOULD NEVER get asked to my IL's HOUSE because MIL could not DEAL WITH THE MESS nor could she be BOTHERED to do anything for us.

So now 18 years of this later, I am waking up. NO MORE INVITATIONS TO MIL ( FIL passed away now) What's I wanted when my kids were younger is to have people around them who cared about them , who showed them how to do stuff, who nurtured them and loved them. This never came through from my MIL so now its her turn. She will get older and need people around her doing stuff for her. Guess what. Will I be the one to help her? Hmmm... Now that's tough, because its not really my nature, but things change and one feels let down over the years and I will have to be honest to myself as well.