Would you drink with your kids?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Would you drink with your kids?
28
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 9:33am

I came across this article, thought it was interesting and wanted to share.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 10:42am

A lot of this would depend on family dynamics, customs, etc. I know lots of families out there have wine with dinner and kids are allowed to have based on age, etc. But to do it just as an attempt to introduce them to alcohol in a controlled manner, no. I actually don't drink anymore, altho I did my share of partying in my 20's, and *dining out* in my 30's and 40's. I just lost my taste for it. My husband does drink when we go out. We never drank at home.

 

Avatar for lizmvr
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2001
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 12:10pm
I have a little bit of a skewed view of this, I'm sure, but my boyfriend is sober, for a year and 4 months now, and there is no way I plan on drinking with my future kids should the boyfriend and I have them together.

I think that would be somewhat disrespectful to my boyfriend and the efforts he has put into his sobriety.

I think the question for us is how much to share with future kids we might have. Do we tell them the horrors that their dad endured as a using alcoholic? Do we tell them how much it hurt his career and our relationship? Part of me definitely wants them to know how harmful abuse of a substance can be, but I don't want to degrade their dad either.

Liz


Clinical Research Associate


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 12:49pm

In our family. It's never been a problem. My family is social drinkers. As a kid there was always alcohol in the house. I've been to plenty of family parties where at least one relative was drunk. My parents were a bit permissive and would let us drink at the family parties when we turned 18. My uncle was a stickler and wouldn't let his kids drink until they were 21. This uncle tried to tell my dad and my other aunt and uncle that they should not let us drink, since he was saying no to his kids. This brought on a bit of an arguement, as my dad thought he shouldn't impose his values on three other families.

Now that times are changed and we could get into a LOT of trouble for allowing an underage child to drink at family gatherings, I will choose to be a stickler myself and not allow my kids to drink until they are of the legal age. It is only because of the laws that I changed my tune.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 5:39pm

I have a couple points to make on this:

* First, it is illegal (in state of KS anyway) to supply alcohol to minors, even in your own home, even to your own children and it is a fine of $5K.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2011
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 6:15pm
You wouldn't encourage your kids to speed in a car, but you might encourage them to drive sensibly instead.

No-one has suggested getting children intoxicated or anywhere close to vomiting; just the opposite!

I appreciate that your ils children have had problems, but who knows whether they'd have had those problems anyway.

My parents let me have the odd glass of wine at mealtimes when I was a teenager, and even though it was limited, it did make alcohol less exciting for me. That is, when I turned 18 (adulthood in UK), I didn't feel the need to go out and drink as much as I could in as little time as possible, like some of my friends did. The novelty factor wasn't there for me.

Granted, there are some parents who simply turn a blind eye to what their kids are drinking, and allow their kids to drink too much, but that is different to allowing a little alcohol under supervision.

And yes, a little alcohol can be relaxing, and can even be beneficial (red wine is advised for a healthy heart, in moderation of course). There's nothing wrong with that, provided you know your limits and are not dependant on it.

In other countries in Europe (France, Spain) they are much more liberal with introducing alcohol to their children, and they don't have a drinking problem, whereas the UK does.

This 'enjoy in moderation' stance has been cited as one of the key reasons why they don't have a problem.

I don't know whether it is just that, or their culture in general, but it is something to consider.

xx
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2002
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 6:39pm

For me personally I wouldn't do it because it's breaking the law and I wouldn't want my children to think they

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 8:12pm

Well, given that we had wine at

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 9:09pm
It's not against the law in Texas.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 5:22pm

Yes. It is against the law in texas. See this website: http://www.tabc.state.tx.us/laws/underage_drinking_laws.asp

Anytime you give alcohol to minors it is going to be against the law - it does not matter that you are the parents or it is in the privacy of your home. There are MANY illegal acts taht can take place in private and THIS is one of them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 5:31pm

Actually, in the OP it did mention keggers and puking and partying - THAT is where I got that part of my response.

As far as my il's - they

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