Am I the crazy neighbor?

Avatar for cowboys_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Am I the crazy neighbor?
7
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 3:41pm

Does it seem like I am the crazy one?

Y'all might remember 6 months ago, I had a yelling fight, in the front yard with my one neighbor, because they insisted on continuing to park their huge RV, in the cul-de-sac, right in front of our house (not their house, to block the view, but our house)....so after 6 months of taking their 3 dogs back to their house (because they let them out, to wander the neighborhood & crap on all of our yards) & then the RV...I was fed up & got into a yelling fight, when she confronted me about "why did I care where their RV was parked".......anyways that was 6 months ago, RV hasn't been parked their, but dogs still wander & her & I coexist, but don't talk.

I guess, since that time? My next door neighbor (who I 'thought' I was friends with) hasn't liked me, because the neighbor I got into fight with, is his friend  (but I didn't think he would pick sides)?  Next door neighbor has 8 cars, he parks all out into the street......it looks like a junk yard, but as long as they aren't in front of our house or hindering us, I never say anything.  All his cars have been there for last year & half.  well, lately, in last month, he started parking a car, in front of our house, blocking access for us to get into our mailbox. (mind you, he only does it, on the weekends, but we get mail on Sat. and he's done it consitently for last 3 weekends.  Last weekend, I tried knocking on his door, to ask him (in person) to please not park his car there. (plus that was the ONLY request we had, when they 1st moved in, to not park & block our mailbox).  He didn't hear knock, so I just left a nice note on his truck, "that I tried asking him in person, to not park here, but he didn't hear the door, and I couldn't put a letter in my mailbox, because he was parked there......so, if he didn't park there anymore, I would appreciate it."

Well, next door neighbor got ALL PISSED OFF FROM NOTE!!  Surprised When hubby told me, I went over to try to talk to him and apolize if I offended him.....when I started talking, he quickly 'shot me down', pointed his finger at me and basically said "how dare I leave him a note, when he only parked there one time." When I got defensive and told him, he's been parking there more and more. And all the other times he parked there, I haven't said anything. He quickly argued back defending himself.  And I am embarrassed now (again) by another confrontation with another neighbor, so I quickly told him "fine, park wherever you want" and left as he is continuing to yell at me, as I walked away.

okay, the 1st confrontation, I agree, I was fed up & my frustrations came out....but the 2nd one, I had no clue I would upset my other neighbor so much?! was it so wrong of me to ask next door neighbor (with all his cars) to not block our mailbox? (I never say his house looks like a junkyard with all his cars out front)

from now on, I think I will just stay inside the house and just not say anything.....PS, I never call cops or HOA on parking issues, because I don't want to take it that far.

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

Avatar for cowboys_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Fri, 11-02-2012 - 2:09pm

And get this, he goes to all the HOA meetings and complains about fences and things on other people's properties.  But, he will get a letter from the HOA to get rid of 'this & that' and will do nothing about it, but complain, that he got a letter and 'can you believe that?!' And he wants to get current management company fired and hire another one, because he doesn't believe they are doing their jobs....I mean, really?!

And when he shook his finger in my face, he told me, that I care too much about who's parking where and he only parked his truck, where it was overnight.  And he reminded me, that he has helped me do 'this and that' when I needed him and he CAN'T BELIEVE I left a note on his truck! So, I argued back with him...."R, if you only parked there ONE time, I wouldn't have had to leave a not, BUT I've seen your car there over a 3 weekends consecutively.  Your gold truck, white truck and Miata! And thank you for helping me out, when I needed it, but I never ASKED you and now, you're telling me I OWE you? So I shouldn't be bothering you about blocking my mailbox?"

Yes, I guess, he just likes to bully and before my confrontation with him, he made excuses, constantly, for the other neighbor, who used to park in our front house with their RV......he's ridiculous! I'm glad I got to see his 'true colors'!

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Fri, 11-02-2012 - 1:00pm

HOAs exist to preserve the value of the neighborhood.  If a resident is not complying it really is important to contact HOA.  Not only is this guy making it difficult for you to live comfortably, but he is also affecting the value of your property and the neighborhood.

And this guy's behavior.  He is reacting as he is as a preemptive strike and he is succeeding, he knows if he acts agressively and makes you out to be the bad guy.  Not only will you back off, but others will hesitate to call him out as well.  It is probably why he chose sides with the other difficult neighbor.  Both know if they behave like bullies, people are less likely to challenge them and they can get away with their current actions.

I know not all HOAs are as strict as ours, but in a situation like yours I would definitely be calling the HOA.  I know the last thing I would want is not only for my home life to be compromised by a bad neighbor, but also to negatively affect the value of my property.

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Avatar for cowboys_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Fri, 11-02-2012 - 12:23pm

People like him and your other neighbour, those who are disrespectful and unthoughtful of their neighbours, are the reason why there are neighbourhood feuds.  They are what I like to call "Kazimas".  As in "Kaz-ima-special".  They do what they want and couldn't care less about being courteous to those living around them.

Thank you for saying that.....I am glad it's not me & I am not the crazy biotch.  I get along with all the other neighbors, but they are all very considerate & respectful.  It's like these other neighbors, who (obviously) don't care what we think?  Think we are the bad ones for saying anything to them.  Surprised

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 11-02-2012 - 10:33am

Call HOA.  You can't get into your mailbox because of him and you can't have a civil discussion with him because he's a loud mouthed bully.  So get the HOA involved because he can scream and yell all he wants but he has to do what they say.

You've tried being nice and it's obvious he already doesn't think well of you (and not worthy of common respect) so I say he can go pound salt.  Call the HOA and let it become his problem for a change.

People like him and your other neighbour, those who are disrespectful and unthoughtful of their neighbours, are the reason why there are neighbourhood feuds.  They are what I like to call "Kazimas".  As in "Kaz-ima-special".  They do what they want and couldn't care less about being courteous to those living around them.

Avatar for cowboys_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 6:37pm

Yeah, I don't want to call cops, HOA, or animal control, because they will automatically think I was the one that called.

it seems, when they are confronted about a problem, they will stop, but they will continue to 'test the boundaries'....I just don't want to be 'that crazy neighbor', But it seems all my other neighbors are bugged, by the junk yard, but no one else will say anything.  And I only say something if it directly affects us, but seems I am a big 'bleep' for saying anything.  :/

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2012
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 5:48pm

If he was really (and has been) blocking your mailbox to the point where you can't even open it far enough to put a letter in it, you're well within your rights to contact your HOA.  You tried asking him nicely and explaining the situation, and he's not interested in working with you on it, so you're well within your rights to bring it to your HOA.

Also, wrt the 8 cars and the RV, you might want to check your HOA bylaws on those too.  My DH is on the board of our HOA, and we have rules about parking recreational vehicles in right of ways, and about having unlicensed/non working motor vehicles parked in your driveway and in your street parking. There are also laws in most cities/counties about letting your dogs run loose, you should call animal control. You might be able to get more of it taken care of.  Of course, if the HOA or the sherriff confronts these two neighbors, they're going to assume it was you who turned them in, but it sounds like they already don't like you, so you don't have much to lose there. :)

Good luck!  I know situations like this can suck, and it's not fun to live in a neighborhood where there's constant tension!

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 4:08pm

  This is very common.  Many of these developments were not designed for modern living. I suggest calling the post office about your mail if you are unable to access the mailbox.  They may be of help but it is a double edged sword.

chaika