Dealing with mutual friends

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2012
Dealing with mutual friends
Sat, 12-15-2012 - 11:20pm

Here's my brief story.  Recently lost my best friend as they ended the friendship.  There was a lot of misunderstanding and hurt feelings we were both to blame but they took the major offense.  I've tried reconciling but they aren't having any of it.  It's been nearly a year of not speaking.  I've learned to move on and past it, but admittedly some days are harder than others.  We have a mutual friend, lives across country but recently came to visit.  We had to plan separate events, which was odd but we made it through.  However, the mutual friend and I haven't spoken since.  Mainly occasional likes and comments on Facebook posts.  She knows details of the friend split, that I'm sure I don't even know, but lately has been changing her profile pics to photos of the two of them and writing things about how wonderful the ex-friend is.  I'm not against their friendship (they were friends first) but can't help feel she's doing a bit of this on purpose.  It's bordering on obsessive (I think) but it's also starting to annoy me.  I have said and done nothing about this and will continue to do so but thoughts welcome.  It almost feels as though she is asserting herself as if to say - haha we're still friends and you're not!

I should also point out - we are all in our 40s so certainly old enough to know better!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Sun, 12-16-2012 - 10:14am

It called my attention, you say THEY ended the friendship. Who are they?

Weel, I guess that when somenone doesn´t want to reconcile, there is nothing we can do.

If the mutual friend is changing pic on facebook, to make you feel unconfortable is hard to know, but  if you have that feeling probably you might be right.

The only thing that I would just suggest you is to not get into facebook. If it is to hurt you, ignore it.

Try to move on  

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2013
Sat, 03-16-2013 - 4:22pm
If your friend had any class she wouldn't post pictures like that. She might not be doing it to bug you but she should have thought before posting those pics. I would stop talking to the friend for a bit and feel her out. Maybe she is being rude or maybe she isn't thinking about your feelings.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2010
Thu, 03-28-2013 - 2:58am
There may be a way on Facebook to filter what you see from her and she sees from you. That way you don't have to make any huge statement by defriending her, nor do you have to see things that are going to hurt you. That's what I would do.