Thank you all for replying. I appreciate everyone's thoughts.
I am posting to update that she called me yesterday and we had a nice talk. We had been emailed the past week (she emailed me) and now I understand why she did not talk to me for 3 months. I am sure we both still have hurt feelings, but it was nice to chat with her yesterday.
Thanks for all the support on here!!
I am sorry this all happened to you, but I am glad you wrote your letter and she contacted you. Only time can tell the end result. I
I have a friend who is married now with 2 kids. We have not had a fight, but I know our friendship is over in a sense. We don't have personal talks anymore because most of the time I go to her house and her kids are there. I would not want to expose them to our conversation. She is too busy for me now.
The way I deal with losing friends is how I deal with losing boyfriends or guys I dated shortly. First I grieve and then remember memories we shared together, then the memories fade and I tell myself there are other fish in the sea and join a dating website. LOL. I know this cannot compare to a close friendship you've had with your friend, but this is all I know for me.
Good luck with you and your friend.
Thanks for taking time to respond to my post.
I would love to go knock on her door, but she is in another state
I did mail her a letter since she changed her email adress, and other people said it was a well written, good letter. I told her I missed her and didn't understand why she has ended our friendship, she has not responded
All my friends have basically told me to let her go. There is nothing I can do. What do you think? How do you let go?
Thanks for reading, I appreciate your thoughts.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation with this woman. Maybe go to her house and knock on her door if she is avoiding you?
I appreciate you taking your time to respond.
We do have a mutual male friend, and he tried asking her why she is doing this and asked her if she would call me. Her response to him was that it was between her and I and she did not want him involved. How can it be between her and I when there is no more, "her and I"?????
You know, today I happen to come across a tub of old greeting cards from over the years. There were tons of best friends and friends forever cards from her, saying she could not live without me, how important I am in her life, and so many things like that. I believe she really did mean what was in the cards. So, now, I just cannot understand how she could just walk away from the friendship and appear to not care or mean any of that. How does someone do that? I do not understand. I know I am sapose to let it go, but how?????
"Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open."
Trust me, my kids got over it. One got her room back and didn't have to share with her little sister anymore, and my house didn't smell like birds or cat litter anymore either.
I do miss going to bingo or a casino occasionally with her, and our drives to the beach for lunch. But I don't miss the negative times, when she felt she didn't get enough of my attention or when she was verbally abusive to my kids.
So I have learned to move on, and when I think I miss her, I remember that many of the bad times out weigh the good, as the good times usually had to be on her terms.
I hope it works out the best for you and your friend, whether you get back together or move on.
Thank you for replying. Sorry to hear you also lost your best friend and not good at all that she was verbally abusive to your children. I hope your children were okay after she left.
How do you get through the loss? I don't have an explanation to why she ended it, so I am left with so many questions. And, how does a person say so many positive good things about their best friend for years, then call her what she called me (a psychotic b...). I don't know how to "let go" as they say.
I have had a similar experience. I had a best friend for about 12 years, and it all ended when she came to live with us for a while.
Though we had spent so many years having fun, lunches on the beach, holidays with my kids, bingo trips and other stuff, having her move in to our house was a friendship breaker.
She was verbally abusive to my kids, a pack rat, and just not a nice person to live with.
It tore our friendship apart. Weird though for about 2 yrs off and on her phone would "auto" dial me and I could hear back ground noises of her talking to people or being at a casino.
I miss the friendship and good times we had, but I don't miss the abusive person who lived in my house.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post.
I did not say anything hurtful in the emails.
All of the other issues you mention are very possible. Maybe she is going through something medical or emotional that she does not want to share and therefore has pushed me away.
I always just assume it must of been something "I did" and maybe it is, but no idea what. But, I am learning that it may have nothing to do with me personally. I take friendships seriously and probably too personally.
Thanks again for your thoughts