My neighbor friend again :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
My neighbor friend again :(
Thu, 12-13-2012 - 11:10pm

I have posted some things about a neighbor friend I have. I don´t feel comfortable with her anymore and would like some input about this. I was having problem with my daughter because of an  extension card I gave her. I needed to vent, and as I sometimes listen her issues, I thought it might be my turn.. She gave me some support but she also started to scold me and talk to me loudly as if I were her kid. She was telling me how she solve a problem with her credic card , but I was trying her to understand that this was a different situation. She loudly told me "WHAT IS IT, THAT IS NOT CLEAR FOR YOU".

I wasn´t feeling well because of my problem with my daughter and the least thing I needed it to be scolded like a missbehaved kid. I didn´t say a word but distanced from her. She talked to me and I said that I didn´t like the way she treated me,  and she said she didn´t mean to harm me. ( that might be ok for her, or that´s her way of helping).

I have also seen in her mad looks at me for a stament like "I´m taking some probiotics for my stomach, because stress makes me sick". I´m not working now, so she might think that what kind of stress could I have, but not having a job can stress one, because you have less control of your life.

I know she has a lot of finantial issues and she might be depressed. But I also have a lot of issues, and I have had many friends and even though none of them were prefect, no one has talked to me like that.

She says I´m too sensitive.   WHY IS IT SO HARD TO RELATE? :(

Any thoughts or ideas?

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Tue, 12-18-2012 - 2:06am

Most of us don't like being with people who act condescending towards us. If you are not comfortable around her anymore then its time to distance yourself from her. You said that you have other friends who do not treat you like a child the way she does, so its probably not anything that you are doing, its her. Since she's your neighbor and you cannot help but to run into her sometimes you can remain civil but don't discuss problems or anything personal with her.