My Neighbor UGH!

Avatar for nikki_lav_2288
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2007
My Neighbor UGH!
14
Wed, 11-07-2012 - 4:07am

My neighbor's boyfriend or whatever he is to her was parked behind my car washing their car and bassing their music at 9:00AM! My husband works night shift at the nursing home and he was trying to sleep when they disturbed him. So I called the cops and he got mad at me. He said all I had to do was talk to him! We just moved into this duplex I do not know the neighbors and I did not feel confortable talking to him! I am friendly but not when you disturb me and my husband when we are sleeping at 9:00AM!

Christina

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 11-07-2012 - 1:38pm

There are a few ways to look at this.  First is to introduce yourself to your neighbour and ask them to keep it down, establishing yourself as someone that will address issues.  The other is not to bother trying to resolve issues with someone who thinks it is at all acceptable to blast music with heavy bass at 9am.  I tend to go with the latter of the two schools of thought.  If someone is too ignorant to think that blasting their music that early in the day won't upset at least some of their neighbours, then I'm sorry but they don't deserve the benefit of the doubt.  I wouldn't care if my neighbour was upset with me for calling the police and not going to them.  They're, AFAIAC, the idiots for bringing upon this situation and have no right to be angry with the person whose peaceful enjoyment of their property was interupted by THEIR discourteous and un-neighbourly behavior.

Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Thu, 11-08-2012 - 6:12am

I'm sorry but I have to agree with your neighbor. Calling the cops seems like a drastic measure to take when you didn't even attempt other avenues first. So what if you don't know him? Why does that make you uncomfortable? Were you afraid of him or something? It just seems to me that it could have been much more easily resolved if you'd just politely asked him to turn it down and explained that your husband is trying to sleep since he works night shifts.

Was this during the week? Because I think it's fair to assume most people would be up and at work by 9am. Your neighbor is not psychic and can not possibly have known that your husband works nights and would be sleeping at 9am. It's entirely possible that had you just let him know, he would have been apologetic and much more considerate. Even if it was on a weekend, I don't think 9am is unreasonably early. I live in an area where there are frequent public events and there are noise restrictions but only before 9am. So some weekends, I get woken up at 9am on the nose when they are allowed to turn on music and make announcements over the loud speakers. It's annoying if I wanted to sleep later but it's still an extra hour of sleep since I get up at 8am for work so I do not consider it "too" early. 

Put yourself in his position... imagine you were doing something that unknowingly was disturbing someone and the next thing you know, you're being confronted by the police! Would you not be a little upset, knowing that had the person just come to you and politely asked you to stop, you would have been more than happy to do so? Involving the police was unnecessary and probably embarassing. Not to mention, you kind of wasted the police's time by having them do something you could have done on your own. I know that noise disturbances are a part of their job description but typically only if there is nothing you can do about it on your own. But you didn't even try to resolve it yourself first.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 11-08-2012 - 8:33am

It sounds like you lived in an area that was known for not being quiet.  The OP's neighbourhood doesn't sound that way.

Perhaps it's because I've been around the block and have dealt with upteen nightmare neighbours, including one that thought it was okay to begin renovations and hammering in his apartment kitchen at midnight on a Tuesday, but if someone thinks it is okay to blast their bass at 9am on any given day and in a neighbourhood that is quiet, I don't think they are owed or should expect the benefit of the doubt.  It's flat out disrespectful to do that to neighbours even if it's midday.  There is a community expectation to put up with noise in any neighbourhood, but that doesn't extend to subjecting neighbours to loud music and rattling windows.  It's rude.  I can see the point about the neighbour being surprised at the cops showing up, but that was a damned good way to show them that it isn't appropriate without going to them and asking them to stop with the possibility that they will just do it again.  I've BTDT.  I understand the OP's POV regarding being uncomfortable in going to the neighbour she doesn't know to ask them to turn it down.  If they're going to display that kind of disregard for their neighbours and blast music that early, then it isn't a far stretch to expect that they flat out tell you to pound salt and continue on or do it again another time.  The OP's method was quick, dirty, and to the point.  After having dealt with loads of disrespectful neighbours in the past, I think that approach is efficient and gets the job done. 

Avatar for cowboys_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Thu, 11-08-2012 - 11:26am

In my expreience, I have had 2 different confrontations with neighbors.  My next step will be to call the cops, if the neighbors, repeat what I was bothered about.  I agree with UKgirl, to try to handle 'whatever' situation with neighbor 1st and if that doesn't resolve problem? then call the cops.....if cops are called 1st, then, I feel it presents more problems.

I do agree it is disrespectful to other neighbors to blast music, early in the morning....but not everybody (unfortuanately) thinks that way.  Sorry for your frustrations!

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Thu, 11-08-2012 - 5:31pm

paradigmshifter wrote:
<p>It sounds like you lived in an area that was known for not being quiet.  The OP's neighbourhood doesn't sound that way.</p>

Actually, my area is fairly quiet, it's only the occasional public event that causes noise. The point is that by 9am, most people are up and about, even on weekends. Most businesses are open by that time, public events begin, the sun is up, the day has begun! In my experience, it's not considered THAT early by most people, regardless of where you live. 

Quote:
<p>Perhaps it's because I've been around the block and have dealt with upteen nightmare neighbours, including one that thought it was okay to begin renovations and hammering in his apartment kitchen at midnight on a Tuesday,

Yes, perhaps it is. It sounds like you're quick to jump all over a noisey neighbor because of your past bad experiences. But that doesn't mean everyone is like that - it could have all been easily resolved with no hard feelings had the OP just politely asked him to turn down the music. But because of your past experiences, you're no longer willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and try to be polite first. You're entitled to think they don't deserve the benefit of the doubt but that kind of attitude and behavior like calling the cops without even speaking to them first will only cause animosity between you and the people you have to live around. If that's what you want, carry on but in my opinion, it's only going to cause more problems that could have been easily avoided. Whether they deserve the benefit of the doubt or not, if I can easily avoid additional grief by creating an enemy, I think it's worth it. 

Quote:
but if someone thinks it is okay to blast their bass at 9am on any given day and in a neighbourhood that is quiet, I don't think they are owed or should expect the benefit of the doubt.  It's flat out disrespectful to do that to neighbours even if it's midday.

LOL okay, that's just totally unreasonable. No one is allowed to play music outside even in the middle of the day? Clearly, you want total silence in your neighborhood 24/7 and that's just not realistic. If that's what you want, you will only be happy in a very rural area where there are no neighbors within hearing distance. If that's attainable for you, good luck with it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 11-08-2012 - 6:49pm

LOL. 

If someone in my neighbourhood did such a thing, I'd be more worried about them facing the reaction of the people that work the graveyard shift than I ever would about the police.  In fact, calling the police would be doing them a great favour (and luckily our next door neighbour is the council for our Ward so no worries there).  Being a considerate neighbour means growing out of the myopia that everyone works the 9 to 5 or isn't home ill, caring for kids, sick parents, working from home, etc.  Want to play music?  Sure, go for it.  Want to play it so loud that it jolts neighbours inside their homes?  That's a jerk that's already made enemies of their neighbours and deserves the exact same kind of consideration.  Thankfully we have neighbours that aren't so immature and thoughtless.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2011
Fri, 11-09-2012 - 2:56pm
I have to agree with your neighbor too. My first thought is that while blasting music any time of the day is not cool, I am not sure that 9am is a 'bad' time for him to have it on to at least some extent. It is not your neighbor's problem that your bf sleeps days and works nights. If it is not music playing, it could be a car horn or a conversation between people walking down the street. I am not big on calling the police for minor things. Or for anything, for that matter, that is not a safety/violence issue. Neighbor situations can frequently be worked out by being an adult and going to speak to the person who is doing what you think is wrong, without wasting the time of the police who have better things to do. I would much prefer a neighbor politely say "hey, can you do me a favor and turn down the music for a couple of hours?" than have the police show up. I would turn down my music and be glad he approached me rather than having someone else fight his battles for him. Just my one and a half cents, take it for what it is worth. I used to live by a person who called the police on neighbor's for little things. After a couple of trips, the police had him pegged as the problem, and they were biased, as they should be, by the time they arrived to the person's house. They showed us once the screen "I am not going to tell you who called, though it is on this screen here..." because they had the hopes that we would work it out, and we did, by letting the neighbor know that a) stop calling, come talk to us and b) we know it is you being a coward. He stopped calling on dumb little things and the police knew that if someone did call, it was a serious matter, not a Mrs. Kravitz.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Wed, 11-14-2012 - 11:45pm

In my case, the least thing I would like, is to have problems with neighbors. You might not like it, but you did your entrance with an aggressive action. The problem with this, is that you can gain an enemy for the rest of your life there. It looks to me that if you listen a kid playing outside and disturbing you, you go out and slam his face.

This people weren´t doing that un purpouse to disturb you. I would have go out and mention them that my husband works until late hours and that weekends are looked forward to sleep late, so you would appreciate to take that into consideration. If they don´t listen then you can escale in your actions.But calling the police, on the first time IMPO, was aggressive and not assertive.

I try to act with people in an assetive way, if not for them, for my own sake!

Assertive( defend my own rights, without stepping on others rights)

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2009
Fri, 11-23-2012 - 4:45pm

I think you should have talked to them first and if the situation wasn't resolved, then call the police.  I can't stand those loud bass-booming car stereos at ANY time.

Avatar for nikki_lav_2288
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2007
Tue, 11-27-2012 - 5:51am

Okay he really does not live there he is just the boyfriend of my neighbor and he stays the night alot! If your asleep your not going to be nice to the neighbor's boyfriend causing the loud noises disrupting your sleep! My husband works from 10:00PM to 6:00AM he is tired and plus it was week day! They got lease violation cause they pushed a non-working vehicle were I was parking and for bassing! They have calmed down not bassed since then cause they know better! I wrote them a letter explaining why I called the cops! They would not like it if I bassed either or parked a non-working vehicle were they were parking! First of all this is a Duplex and my bedroom faces the parking area were he was bassing! It is a city code that you can not bass loud! I talked to the people that manage the property they are the ones that told me to call the police! My neighbors did not introduce themselfs to me or my husband so that told me they are not friendly people that is why I am not confortable talking to them! This was when we first moved in October! I am friendly person and like my neighbors to introduce themselfs to me so I know who lives in the neighborhood! What is not right is she leaves her chihuahua in the backyard with no shelter when it is very cold outside! Plus he was whinning it made me very sad cause he was cold, hungry, and thirsty! You all need to understand you never know what people could do to you if tell them to be quiet! I was being cautious cause there are alot of dangerous people out there! We had great neighbors were we use to lived!

Christina

Pages