Should I give up/back off?
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|Wed, 04-17-2013 - 1:12pm|
I became friendly with a young woman in another forum (not ivillage). Some of her posts to others were interesting, and she seemed kind of fun. Then I didn’t see any posts or board activity for a few weeks.
All of a sudden there was a new thread started by her wherein she expanded on lots of problems she’s having:
She is in her 30s, lives at home with her mother and brother, and hasn’t had a job or earned any money in over 3 yrs.
She and her mother fight constantly – screaming matches which sometimes turn violent.
Her mother has called her disgusting and lazy.
She went to school for awhile to be a physical therapist but it didn’t work out. Now she has a lot of school loan debt which she can’t begin to repay because she doesn’t earn any money.
She said she has been in counseling in the past and is thinking of going back into therapy. She also said she filled out 10 job applications last week but hasn’t heard anything.
A couple of people encouraged her to continue therapy and suggested (since she likes to crochet) that she register with etsy and try to sell some of her work.
I pointed out a few thing and offered some suggestions:
These days, a person has to do a lot more than fill out applications and wait for a call. (She should know that after 3 yrs, but I didn’t come out and say it like that.)
I told her to register with temp services and labor pools
Place (free) ads on craigslist to clean houses, babysit, pet sit, house sit, run errands.
Check with social service agencies to find out about living arrangements where she could do chores, cook, etc. in exchange for rent.
She sent me PM thanking me for the ideas, and said she was going to go the library sometime this week to check into things. Library? She obviously has internet access (she spends lots of time online) and she doesn’t need to go the library to do the things I suggested. She also said she’s having problems understanding etsy.com.
While I sympathize with her situation, it seems to me she’s making excuses and not all that anxious to earn money to support herself and improve her living situation. Recently she sent me a PM telling me about how she's become involved in some online dispute between two other people (I think this is a poor use of time, and I haven't replied). Any thoughts?