iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2013
Sat, 03-23-2013 - 4:51pm

My shout out to Jim Carry in the Mask.

I know people are addicted to many things. I know people use a variety of drugs. I myself like to drink now and then. I don't do it often and when I do it's not a lot. In my mind drinking isn't that big of deal as long as you don't get addicted or drink so much it harms you.

A lot of people I care about smoke. I don't see any benifits to them smoking. I really wish they wouldn't since so much could happen to you.

I admit I am very protective and a tad uptight about things. I am like a little kid who thinks everything is bad and makes a big deal over it. You know how kids make a big deal if you swear? Yeah, it's like that but I don't say anything or so much let on to what I am thinking about. Everything bad ... well just about bothers me. I don't think smoking is something that is right. I also don't want to see someone get hurt.

How do I express to those I care about I wish they would stop smoking without seeming uptight, nerotic, and such a worry wart?

I am 31 and I see people even younger than me who smoke. They are so young and a lot could happen from now to the time they die. I would hate to see them smoke a long time much less at all.

I know I can't make anyone do anything as they are adults. As adults you should be able to do what you want. Never the less I wish I could stop them from doing something that is so dangerous.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
In reply to: shutterbug3c
Sun, 03-24-2013 - 8:52pm

Do you honestly think they don't know the dangers of smoking?  I wouldn't say anything.  It will likely come across as condescending and people who smoke don't need someone to remind them of how bad it is for them.  As is the case with most unsolicited advice, it isn't appreciated. 

If anything, you could buy the book (link below) that has had so many success stories, and just give it to them as a surprise gift but do not get into the chastizing over their habit.  They know.  They don't need you to tell them.  Also, when people are approached about smoking, even though it is well meaning, their response is to get their back up.  As it is with addiction in general, people don't quit until they are ready.  So you can talk until you are blue in the face, they will not be successful until the drive is within them, solely, to quit for themselves.  So give them the tool (the book) and tell them to keep it handy until they're ready.  THAT would be appreciated, I think.

Oh and BTW, you have every right to ask them not to smoke in your presence.  Second hand smoke is dangerous.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2013
Wed, 06-19-2013 - 3:30am

I completly agree. It is better to suggest a way to quit smoking than to preach to them about the harmful effect of smoking. A smoker has to decide for himself or herself whether to stop smoking or not. Smoking is a complex habit coupled with addiction> It can be stopped only through a comprehensive stop smoking program. 

Muralidharan Jayaram,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2013
In reply to: shutterbug3c
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 3:10am

Smoking is a bad habit, you must try to quit it.