Am I crazy?
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|Thu, 03-27-2014 - 12:15pm|
My husband had an emotional affair with his boss. This is a woman that he brought into my life and the lives of my children and we became friends. He told me about the affair about 6 months ago, even though I'd known for at least a year that it was happening. He denied it until he finally fessed up. We have been trying to work on our marriage but he still works in the same field as she does, even though he left the job where he worked directly with her. I hate the fact that he still has contact with her!! To make matters worse, he refuses to keep me in the loop about their contact. I just want to know when he sees and talks to her so that I'm not surprised if someone else tells me. That happened before. He said he was eating lunch in his office but my friend saw the two of them at a restaurant together. He deletes all calls and texts, yet I can see that her number is in his "frequently called" list on his phone. Yes, I blame my husband for the problems but she contributed. I had told her (and him) more than a year ago that I was uncomfortable with how close she and my husband were. I explained that I understood that they worked together and they had to talk/text but the intimacy they seemed to have was very uncomfortable for me. The fact that they talked/texted all hours of the day and night, even weekends, made me uncomfortable. Yet, they BOTH continued, which led to the emotional affair.
To make matters even worse, she is friends with both of my in-laws and several of my close friends on Facebook. I'm not friends with her on there. My mil is aware of the problems she has helped to cause in my marriage. She knows that this woman told several of my close friends about our marital problems, after my husband had talked to her in confidence. She went and told 4 couples that my husband and I are very close to (whom she met through my husband and who we did not want to know about our problems until we knew whether we were going to work on things or divorce). Yes, she thought it was her job to tell my closest friends about my marital problems. Don't you think that is something that I or my husband should have been able to do in our own time??
Anyway, I've talked to mil about this because we are very close and she tells me that she is very disappointed in her son and that she is only friends with her on Facebook so that she can keep an eye out for suspicious behavior regarding my husband. So, on my newsfeed yesterday, I was alerted that mil had commented on this woman's new profile picture! She commented "That is a beautiful picture of you and your children" :(
To make matters even worse, the friend who told me that this woman had told everyone about our marital problems just joined Facebook a few days ago. Keep in mind, when he told me everything she had said, I made it very clear what my feelings are toward this woman. I saw last night that he friended her!! WTF???
So, I need to know if I'm crazy for feeling betrayed by my family and friends? Not only has my husband given this woman his heart, now my friends and family are making it pretty clear where they stand. I could never be friends with someone who had hurt someone I cared about the way this woman has hurt me. It makes me believe that if my husband and I do divorce and they get together, my mil and friends will welcome her with open arms. That is devastating to me. Am I crazy to feel this way?