Can I really take any more?
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|Tue, 07-22-2014 - 1:46pm|
I'm married to a 62 year old. I am his caregiver. I'm 52. We've been married 18 years now. He has a whole host of health issues. A lot of these issues are diabetes related, because he refuses to watch his blood sugars. His sugars are very high. He will sit and eat candies and cakes and think he can take insulin and it makes it all ok. We are both going to a doctor that specializes in weight loss. He has lost some weight with the medicine, but he hasn't changed anything else.
I took my husband to his doctor's appt. yesterday. I told the doctor (previously) that Tom is acting weird. I mean spaced out, not really with it. Confusion. Memory loss. Doing weird things. So the doctor is ordering a full blood panel on him and an MRI of his head. Also Tom's vision has been blurry. The doc says he could be having mini strokes due to vascular disease due to diabetes and high cholesterol issues. They will know more with the MRI. We are waiting for a pre-auth for the MRI so he can get it done. They are also going to test him for dementia and Alzheimers.
Here's my issue. I left everything to come out here and be with Tom 18 years ago. We had a couple decent years and then everything turned to shit. He had a problem with falling asleep and sure enough he fell asleep while driving and had a major accident. He was in the hospital for a long time. The other guy was fine. Tom has been impotent for about 15 years. So I haven't had sex in like 15 years. (again due to diabetes complications from his refusal to watch his sugars). Tom wasn't what he painted himself to be. He ended up being a mommy and daddy's boy and can't crap without his parents or someone wiping his ass.
You cannot and will not believe what he's put me through in 18 years. You ask why do I stay? Because I have health issues of my own. I'm on disability and not working. I'm trying to get healthier but I'm a mess from all the stress. I have all of the responsibilities of the house. It all falls on me and always has.
Here's my dilemma. I've met someone. I know what you're thinking. This was totally unexpected. He's the real deal. We're both at a major crossroads in our lives and we both need to make some major decisions. These decisions will affect us (and my husband) and have repercussions. It is not something to be taken lightly.
Am I so wrong to want a life with another man and to have another chance at happiness? Or do I sit here and be miserable and watch my husband eat sweets and die in front of me of diabetic complications?
What would you do?