DD's stepmother is pregnant

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2014
DD's stepmother is pregnant
2
Fri, 05-02-2014 - 8:46pm

I have a 14 year old DD with my ex. She has been going to school in the state where her dad lives for the last seven years. Initially she went to live with him because I was having severe health issues and at the time I was single. She was going to a really good school so we decided to keep her there. This fall she is starting high school, and decided to move in with me and her stepfather for the upcoming school year and start high school here. She currently has no other siblings.

So her dad and stepmother have been married about 7 years I guess. Her dad has not worked for over two years now. Her stepmother works very part time. They are both in school full time as film majors. SM graduates in the spring, and her dad has a couple more years to go. They are living off of student loans, some family support, and public assistance. Now I find out her SM is pregnant and due this fall. They cannot afford to support DD as it is so I have no idea what they are thinking. I have no problems with people using public assistance when it's genuinely needed, but I feel like her dad and SM just do whatever the hell they want and don't even care how it impacts DD. His child support payment is already going to be a pittance, and now I won't be shocked at all if they can't even afford that since SM's baby will be born around the same time, as well as her student loans coming due. 

My DH has stage four kidney disease as well as other expensive and complicated health issues, (never stopped us from paying child support though as we both work our asses off)  so it honestly really sucks that we can't count on any help from her dad. Yet, he feels it perfectly appropriate to try to make demands on our living situation when she is here. But that's a whole other story. I guess I just need to vent. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 05-02-2014 - 8:59pm

Do you have a child support order from your divorce?  When your DD moves from her father's house to your house, you will need to go to court to do a modification because even though you & ex agreed for her to move, the child support order requiring you to pay c.s. will remain in effect until you change it.  Yes, if your ex is a student and not working, you will not be getting much from him in c.s. but at least you won't have to be paying out so hopefully at least that will be better for you.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2014
Fri, 05-02-2014 - 10:05pm

Yes, we are currently doing a modification through the courts.