DIL & Baby Pics

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2001
DIL & Baby Pics
5
Wed, 04-23-2014 - 7:24pm

Need some input --

My son is in the army, got married a year ago, had a beautiful baby girl 3 mos ago. I never met his wife in person as we live 3000 mi. from each other but we'd text, email and chat on the phone on occasion. After the baby was born, my son would send me pics and she would send me pics too because I told them I'd make them a scrapbook and also for me to have. I finally went to visit 3 wks ago. It wasn't what I had hoped it to be and I chalked it up to my DIL just trying to adjust to being a new mom or maybe post partum. She's not working yet and still gets up in the middle of the night. Anyway, she sent me her latest batch of photos 3 days ago. This is my first grandchild so I am beyond excited and I share pics on facebook for my friends to go "ooooh" and "ahhhh" over.

Yesterday my son sent a text saying my DIL feels uneasy about the pics of my grandchild where she has no top on. In one pic, she is covered by a sheet lying on her side. Her arm, shoulder and neck are bare. The other one is of her pushing herself up on her forearms. It's a side shot and you can see her arm and her back are bare. I was shocked as I NEVER ever had any bad thoughts about someone stealing the pics, etc. She called me after the text and said she's nervous about sickos getting pics of innocent children. I told her I understand her concern and that I would delete them. I deleted the pics...but then felt bad about the whole thing.

Was I wrong to post the pics? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2001
Thu, 04-24-2014 - 5:49pm
I do agree that people post a lot of personal info about their lives. I generally don't but I'm ok w/those who do....esp my close friends. I feel it's a way to celebrate their life as most of the posts I see are of graduations, birthdays, births, etc. The ones I don't know too well are probably not worried about others seeing into their lives or else they wouldn't post. I just wish my DIL would've shared her feelings with me beforehand but it's ok now. Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2001
Thu, 04-24-2014 - 5:46pm
Yes, that is what I will do or just ask her to tell me which ones are ok. Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Thu, 04-24-2014 - 3:02pm

I think people are too casual about Facebook and other online places.  While I am an adoring grandmother, I don't understand the need to post photos of other people online.  If you want to share pics of your grandchildren with your friends, then just send them via private email or make copies and use snailmail.  Facebook opens your life up to all manner of nut cases, causes so many fights between people and is actually a pretty awful way to "keep in touch".  Just try "unfriending" somebody and you'll see the fecal matter hit the fan!  I have a Facebook account and occasional go on it.  I was amazed at the things I was able to learn about friends of friends of friends...people who would surely be unhappy to know that I, a complete stranger, know about their personal affairs. 

The world isn't a very safe place any more...and I think making a decision such as posting a child's photo online should be left up to parents.  I don't think you meant any harm, and likely no harm will come from it...but I would be careful in the future and NOT post grandbaby pics! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Wed, 04-23-2014 - 11:07pm
I've read many posts similar to yours. It seems pretty common for parents to worry about their kid's pics being out there on FB. I don't think you were wrong but I understand their concern. You honored their request and took them down. No harm done. You didn't make it sound as if they were angry with you so I wouldn't worry about it. I guess in the future just post fully clothed pics.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Wed, 04-23-2014 - 11:06pm
I've read many posts similar to yours. It seems pretty common for parents to worry about their kid's pics being out there on FB. I don't think you were wrong but I understand their concern. You honored their request and took them down. No harm done. You didn't make it sound as if they were angry with you so I wouldn't worry about it. I guess in the future just post fully clothed pics.