I don't want to be friends with her--problem solved. Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2014
I don't want to be friends with her--problem solved. Thanks!
Thu, 06-12-2014 - 8:10am

The problem has been solved. Thanks! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2008
Thu, 06-12-2014 - 8:58am

I know you're venting, but you really need to open your mouth. It's not fair to her that you're 'pretending' to be a friend. She obviously feels like you are one and by not saying anything, you're equally at fault for being miserable. 

Of course I know that's easier said than done, but it would really be best if you said something to her.  

Depending on your phone and service provider, you can also block her texts.

It does sound like she's oversharing, but the "us" and "we" seems like she's also lonely. :( 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2011
Thu, 06-12-2014 - 10:39am

Oh wow, I almost feel sorry for the other woman. I know it's inconvenient but it sounds like she really needs a friend and since you've pretended to be her friend for this long it doesn't seem right to just cut her off. Perhaps you can text her about some boundaries between the two of you since texting seems to be her favorite way of communicating and you can gently remove yourself from her life.  

I really do understand that you need your space and I think we have all had "friends" like that so good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 06-12-2014 - 10:43am

Oh I seriously pity you.  She sounds like she has a few screws loose and is more than just being a pest.  I really don't know how you can avoid her at practice but you could stop the texting.  You could first try white lies, like "I have limited texting and I have to pay so please don't text me."  You could be nice and say "I'm really too busy to text during the day" but if these measures don't work, then you should block her number.  I know there are some people who just don't get the hint.  There was a woman who I used to be friendly with and then I didn't see her for about 10 yrs.  I realized that she probably has some mental illness, but when I ran into her again, then I mentioned that I was taking dance lessons at a certain place and she said she had also taken lessons there and then don't you know she showed up.  I felt she was kind of stalking me (in a minor way) since she also joined some meetup groups that I was in.  In a group setting, she was fine so I was always polite to her, but I didn't want to be close friends or go out with her any more since I had made my own group of friends.  So she would say let's go out and I would just say that I was too busy with my kids, etc.  Then one day she just disappeared again.  But I didn't have to confront her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2014
Tue, 06-24-2014 - 9:51pm

The saddest and most difficult part about people like this is that you know they're lonely, you know they're acting this way because they're desperately lonely, but their actions bring about exactly what they don't want to happen.