Need to vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2009
Need to vent
Sat, 07-19-2014 - 12:17am

Hi everyone, my name is Susan and I'm new to this board but not to iVillage. But it's been awhile since I posted on a message board. Anyway, I really need to vent to someone. Today my boyfriend and I made the difficult decision to stop talking to some close friends. My boyfriend went on to work and I've been at home thinking about the decision we have made and I really hope it was the correct one. We were close friends with them, we would see each other almost every day and only live 4 blocks away from them. We are both in serious relationships and would do things as couples.  Part of the reason we decided to part ways because there were some hurtful words exchanged and today one of them told us to go f*** ourselves. And that wasn't the first time it was told to us. I told my boyfriend that isn't how you treat a friend. And we have felt like we have been taken advantaged of for far too long. Pretty much at the end of the month when they don't have any money (they both receive disability payments) they are coming to us to help them with cat food, cat liter, milk, eggs, cheese, salt, tea bags, etc. I could go on and on. And he has asked us to buy him his chewing tobacco. And whenever we would get together they would hint at something they needed or wanted and we would feel obligated to help them. We didn't want to see them struggle. And if I would be out shopping with my friend she would hint at things she wanted and it always made me feel guilty. Another reason why we decided to part ways was because as I mentioned before they both receive disability payments but one of them has a payee and he makes sure her bills are paid, rent and electric and whatever is left is her spending money. Now when it comes to his money, he pays a monthly bill to Rent-a-Center over $300 for the sofa and xbox one he is renting from them. Lately he hasn't been buying food the month because he spends the rest of his money on games, and other miscellaneous items. My boyfriend and I both feel he is irresponsible with his money and doesn't support her like he should. She would come to me and vent her frustrations to me and I would want to talk to him about it but she wouldn't want me too. We have been friends for 3 years but for the past year and a half this has been going on. I would also help them with their laundry but I got a new washing machine and I told them they would have to start doing their own laundry. When ever we would go over there we would see the dirty laundry piled up and they would say, "do you see all that dirty laundry over there?" It would make us feel bad and we would leave feeling guilty. I guess I am just venting because a part of me will miss them and their company. There are many more examples of why we feel used but I don't want to get into all that. Anyone who reads my post do you think we are doing the right thing by ending the friendship? Thanks in advance for reading and possibly commenting.