Ohh my sister and her things.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2013
Ohh my sister and her things.....
7
Tue, 07-29-2014 - 11:26pm

It is long sorry.

 

I know technology on the mobiles are very important nowadays with internet and communicating being easier now that before,  My sister is an lets say is one of the person who uses her mobile and all its applications (Facebook Whatsspa, etc) and she often takes the phone everywhere, (to the bathroom, to go to lunch, , etc) so sometimes  I cant even talk to her because  she is using the damn phone  her husband is the same or even worse. When they come over to the house to visit  to have some coffee he cant let go of his phone cause he is playing or checking internet, while we are eating for me I found that very rude, my sister is more looking like him in that field.

I for instance im the total opposite. Even if I have a smart phone I don’t use internet as much as other people cause I don’t even pay internet for  my phone, I do have applications and I use them from time to time but Im not like my sister who uses it so so often.  I can use internet when I go to places that have WI FI, like my home or at work, so I don’t feel the need to pay internet on my phone if I have WI FI available and so far that is the way I have use my internet or keep in touch with friends over Whatsapp or Facebook.

The thing is my sister wants me to pay internet for my phone to stay more in touch with me or our brother  with Whatassp, if she wanted to say something urgent.  I never wanted to pay internet so what and she gets mad cause I don’t have it  that how come I have a smart phone and I don’t ake advantage of the applications. Well I have used internet like I said but with WIFI and it has worked so far fine with me but my sister do not get that and question me how come!!  

But also if I put internet on my phone I be paying more at my monthly bill of  my phone and at this moment I pay so little cause I don’t use my phone as often as other people. I do text and call and receive calls but only the necessary ones I need to do  and I send text messages (with no internet) the necessary ones and so far good for me

I mean at work I use the WI FI (like all the employees use it from time to time9 when I get home I use the WIFI at home.   And then I ask myself if my sister wants to keep in touch closely with my brother and me with Whatassp for urgent messages it takes more time to write a message that making a call right away. Making a call it is quicker and it is more personal. Of course if my sister wants to say something to me that she does not want other people to listen I do understand the part of text messaging but she can text message me with SMS messaging and not necessary with Whatassp cause for Whatassp u need internet and I don’t have internet but I can receive SMS messaging with no internet required and she can do it to, but no she wants Whatassp and she wants me to install Internet on my phone right away cause it is urgent I do I so.

 Like I mentioned if I put internet I be paying double than what I am currently paying with no internet. Currently my phone bill do not even exceed the $9, it can be even less than  that and If I put internet on my phone I be paying around $18 each month( the fee won’t change in the phone company Im registered). Im tired my sister telling me what to do and not what to do with things that are mine.

 

 For instance, my dad passed away past feb due to cancer and he left all his kids some money. Since my sister do have more expenses than me, because she is married, she has a house, she has a car, she also has another house but for rent, she spends more money than I am. Im always known in my family to be a saver, my dad was similar like me in that field with certain things. He never bought the latest phone or the latest brand new car, he barely buy new clothes often cause the one he had still were wearable. Of course he could buy some shirts and pants but it was not that often my dad lest say was a man from the  old school and in fact I am I don’t know if I took that out of him to buy things cause I need them not out of impulse, like my sister often do. My mom is similar also like me and my dad but only in certain things.

For example each December my sister spend holidays out of the country because her husband likes to spend holidays in other countries, he enjoys doing that.,  I never do that  and my parents never did that cause my dad always said it is a lot of money to travel even if he could afford a trip for him my mom and myself at least once, but my brother in law likes to do it each December and has been doing it for the past 5 yrs. This year is the same my sister re going to our aunts house in Los Angeles and I was thinking why my sister do not invite mom to join her so she can also enjoy a different environment away from the house for some days , and also  she be visiting her sister, but no.. my sister never even mention the word invite to mom and never did when my dad was alive, like saying lets all take a trip together that be fun, She never did that.

 

This Christmas it will be hard for us cause it be our first Christmas without dad and mom and I or my brother do not have plans to go out so we were staying home and by staying home my mom will be sadder to remember dad like that, while my sister will be enjoying her time with her husband in Los Angeles. My sister does not even invite me to go with her to any trip either much less she does it with mom but her husband do take his kids when he wants his kids to join him, (My brother in law has kids from a previous marriage, he does not have kids with my sister, he already had vasectomy)

 My sister tells me why don’t u spend some of the money dad left you on some tech gadgets, like change your phone for a new one, or buy yourself a tablet, or spend the money on a new stereo or new TV for yourself and stop using moms TV. I have told her no thanks cause I don’t need that stuff Im ok with the things I have and If I want to spend it on things perhaps some day but currently I do not need them. First of all, I don’t need a tv at my own home cause in the house we have 3 tv sets (one in the kitchen, one in my mom bedroom and the other on  me in the living room). SO why I need one on in my room, If I can easily use any of the other ones.

Then a stereo for myself. No We have one at home and I use that one, cause im not really a fan of using a stereo  everyday like teenagers do, they cant live without listening to the radio and listen to music. I do listen to music and I like music but I listen it form the stereo wwe have at home but only from time to time when Im in the mood to listen to music and that is not all the time.  My sister and I never grow up having a TV set at our room, my parents never allow us to have a tV in our own rooms we had to watch TV from either their TV at their room or the tV that was in the living room, and I got used to that.

The only thing I did so far is invest part of the money my dad left me was to install a new closet at my room because that was very necessary, since the closet I was using was the same I had been using since I was little and I shared room with my older sister. The closet was never changed at all until now that the room belongs to me and the closet is all mine.

 

In summary my sister wants to dictates me now the things I  need to do, she believes im not doing things correctly even taking care of mom, now that she is a widower.  She has to check up on me often If I am doing this and that to mom, if Im watching her or not, because since she does not live at home she cant know if mom is ok or not. Im not that stupid to leave my mom neglected.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2008
Wed, 07-30-2014 - 9:42am

First of all, I find it so rude when people come to visit and they can't stay off their phones.  Manners have gone to heck since the invention of smart phones. I'm beginning to think they aren't so smart after all-they are an intrusion into the face to face conversations people use to have.

And if your sister doesn't like the way you are taking care of your mother, tell her she can now do it.

Brenda

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 07-30-2014 - 10:52am

I practically fainted when I heard tha tyou are only paying $9 a month for a mobile phone.  I can't even imagine that since for 3 people on the family plan I am paying about $150--of course my 2 kids have IPhones and that requires a data plan so that's why it's expensive and why I can't afford an IPhone for myself.  I do agree that it's rude for people to be using their phones all the time when they are visitng other people.  Maybe if they are spending an extended amount of time at your house, then they have to make a phone call or something but some people are ignoring the people they are with to look at their phones all the time.  I think your sister's insistance that your buy a specific app "so she can get in touch with you in an emergency" is crazy when you have texting or she could actually just call you, so you can just continue to ignore it and remind her that you will spend your money the way you want to.

But if you don't want your sister dictating what you should do, then you can't do it to her either.  yes it would be nice if she took your mom on a trip, but you can't make her.  But if you have some money from your inheritance, then you and your mom could go on a trip together yourselves, right?  It doesn't have to be an expensive trip to another country, you could do something that is closer to home and still achieve the same objective of getting your mom out of the house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2009
Wed, 07-30-2014 - 11:38am

What you do with your own money is your business.  What your sister does with hers, is her business. Tell you sister firmly that is is now of her business. End of discussion. Keep her opinions to herself. If it is urgent, she can call you on the phone. Anything else, she can email you and you will respond in due course. Tell her you will say this only once. You will not discuss this with her again. BE FIRM.

The same goes with you. Your mother is an adult. If she wanted to, SHE COULD GO on a vacation to visit her sister. Your sister and her husband have a right to spend their money as they want and that includes holidays with his kids.  It is none of your business.

Avatar for demecafe
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Wed, 07-30-2014 - 1:49pm

Did you ever think for a moment that you and your sister have different tastes/hobbies and this is her way of trying to be connected to you? She obviously loves technology, why crucify her for that? She's not telling you that you HAVE to get it. She asked you to get it, the same way I would ask one of my sisters to get an app so we can talk together. Maybe she thinks you couldn't afford to get newer stuff before and now that you have the money from the inheritance you can. 

I'm not sure why you're so concerned with her vacaction habits. I go on vacation with my husband and kids and don't always ask my mom along. Depends on where we're going. Perhaps your brother in law would prefer it to be just his wife and his kids? It's unfair to assume you know. Sounds like you're more angry you're not being invited. 

I'm sorry, I just don't see your sister as the bad guy here. Just seems like you have different interests. While she could be less rude while visiting you and your mom, the other stuff seems normal.


demecafe

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Wed, 07-30-2014 - 3:31pm

Is this the same sister who is always telling you what to do and how to do it? You cannot change her, you can only change your response and reaction to her. Tell her firmly that you don't need or want a data plan just so she can text you on WhatsApp, so unless she is going to pay for your data, please stop bugging you about it. In a real urgent situation she can call you or send a SMS text. 

Yes it is rude to be checking your phone when you are supposedly visiting with other people. You can politely ask her to put her phone away and "be present" when you are together. If she doesn't do it then forget it, and leave or go do something else or just talk to the others in the room and ignore her.

How you spend your money is your business, and how she and her husband spend theirs is their business. She is suggesting that you get more current technology (which is not a bad thing to do) but ultimately its your choice, so just tell her that when you are ready to upgrade you will be sure to ask her for advice but until then please drop the subject.

Your sister sounds annoying with her criticisms but you are also critical of her choices, maybe you two are more alike than you realize.

Just wondering but what country are you in, what is the exchange of your currency to the US dollar? I ask because you said your cell bill is $9 and would be $18 with a data plan. For what we pay for phone plans in the US that is super cheap so I'm wondering how your currency compares, if $18 is like $60 or $80 in USD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2013
Wed, 07-30-2014 - 6:26pm

To ELC11. Yes that is what I paid monthly or my phone bill $9 US dollars (no internet plan here), cause I dont use the phone that much  just wht it is necessary. I live in Costa Rica and $1 is 532 Costa Rican colones if I stick to the cheapst data plan (there are more, more expensive), the cheapest plan is about $18 with the internet included and Im talking about the company Im suscribed

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2013
Sat, 08-09-2014 - 7:14pm

Today my sister sent me a SMS message and told me. Now that mom had return to drive (cause she was on leave due to smome surgery for 2 months) please make sure that when she arrvives home after shopping she honk the  so you can go an dpick her up and help her coming down the car. She is tracking me every move i made with mom, cause obviously she does not live with us and she believes Im not aware of those things. I even told my mom about my siser message and she even ignore it and told me do not listen to her. I mean I know and I have told mom that indeed ask for help when she needs it or lt me help her in several things and I believe she is awar e of that.

My sister rally thinks Im not taking good care of mom or at least I dont help her that is why she constantly send me SMS to remind me to help her or send me mesages on Whatassp for that.